How do you and your Mother get on?

[Silke]

I had a new baby a few weeks ago, I called my 'estranged' mother and offered to bring him over to meet her, she wanted to 'think about the arrangements' .... she never called me back. Xmas Eve. Great parenting ...

Might be that she thinks you only got back to her to look after the children. There are a lot of people who leave their parents with flying flags in their late teens or early twens only to return later to move in with them so that they look for their children and so much more. Maybe your mother would change her mind if she knew that it is not just about this.

People say that I am very close to my mother, when they see us together. I cannot complain really, even though we have our quarrels, but we work them out. She was pretty good in giving me the space and freedom that I needed in my life from a very early age.

 

[Hellie]

I had a new baby a few weeks ago, I called my 'estranged' mother and offered to bring him over to meet her, she wanted to 'think about the arrangements' .... she never called me back. Xmas Eve. Great parenting ...

Ditch the bitch...sorry but she's failed big time.

 

[Mad Vespa]

Well Hellie, I feel your right - it's how I reacted for nearly 10 years. She's not a bad person, just more interested in her life more than mine. We don't fit in - it's that simple.

Not all 'mothers' are the Walton's mum - she was a great mum til my Dad died when I was 10 then it all went south ... can't blame her really - it would have been a shock. However, I would never freeze out my daughter like she did ...


I'm moaning now .... sorry!

 

[Mad Vespa]

Might be that she thinks you only got back to her to look after the children. There are a lot of people who leave their parents with flying flags in their late teens or early twens only to return later to move in with them so that they look for their children and so much more. Maybe your mother would change her mind if she knew that it is not just about this.

People say that I am very close to my mother, when they see us together. I cannot complain really, even though we have our quarrels, but we work them out. She was pretty good in giving me the space and freedom that I needed in my life from a very early age.

She's NEVER looked after the kids (whole family) either for an afternoon or an overnight ... ever.

 

[emma1979]

mothers rock, imagine without my mother i wouldnt exist, jesus imagine that he he

 

[Mad Vespa]

Ditch the bitch...sorry but she's failed big time.

BINGO! Thank you x

 

[Neader]

We don't

I wake up, start studying my ass off for midterms, she comes home from shopping and yells at me because the kitchen's dirty and she has to do everything. She then proceeds to tell me she doesn't give me $20 a week for nothing. I then tell her that she just got done yelling at me yesterday for not spending that $20 on lunch and instead saving it for vinyls, that that money was lunch money. So I guess it isn't now? And I don't do anything? I'm busy studying my ass off. What are you doing? You're out shopping. Though when she left again I went in her room to go on the scale and saw tampon wrappers in her trash, guess that explains it

 

[Happy Maudlin]

It's complicated... I'll divulge when I have more time.

 

[troubleluvsme]

We don't

I wake up, start studying my ass off for midterms, she comes home from shopping and yells at me because the kitchen's dirty and she has to do everything. She then proceeds to tell me she doesn't give me $20 a week for nothing. I then tell her that she just got done yelling at me yesterday for not spending that $20 on lunch and instead saving it for vinyls, that that money was lunch money. So I guess it isn't now? And I don't do anything? I'm busy studying my ass off. What are you doing? You're out shopping. Though when she left again I went in her room to go on the scale and saw tampon wrappers in her trash, guess that explains it

Wow....your last line was funny though.

Have you tried to talk to her about any of this while she's in a good mood?

 

[Neader]

There's no point, she just gets all fired up again.

Earlier this week she got mad at me because one morning she told me I had to bring the car out when I got home to which I replied "Yes master." She said that if she said it she would be thrown through a window into a brick wall, when I asked her if she thought that's what I deserved and that it was a justifiable punishment she said yes, I told her I'm glad she's a teacher and then she just went on a rant about "this generation". I wake up at 2 to 4 AM every morning to get done what I need to get done. I leave the house at 7. I'm busy as hell. She wakes up at 5, has breakfast and watches TV. I don't even eat breakfast and I get up that early. So I thought it was bullshit that she's telling me to do stuff when she's just sitting on her ass.

 

[Dave]

It's complicated... I'll divulge when I have more time.

as they used to say on Family Feud, "Good answer!"

 

[troubleluvsme]

There's no point, she just gets all fired up again.

Earlier this week she got mad at me because one morning she told me I had to bring the car out when I got home to which I replied "Yes master." She said that if she said it she would be thrown through a window into a brick wall, when I asked her if she thought that's what I deserved and that it was a justifiable punishment she said yes, I told her I'm glad she's a teacher and then she just went on a rant about "this generation". I wake up at 2 to 4 AM every morning to get done what I need to get done. I leave the house at 7. I'm busy as hell. She wakes up at 5, has breakfast and watches TV. I don't even eat breakfast and I get up that early. So I thought it was bullshit that she's telling me to do stuff when she's just sitting on her ass.

Sorry to hear that.
It sounds like you're very responsible and driven; you're hard work will pay off.
Hopefully, your Mom will soften up a bit.

 

[roadie]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[roadie]

Sorry to hear that.
It sounds like you're very responsible and driven; you're hard work will pay off.
Hopefully, your Mom will soften up a bit.

maybe,maybe not! but thank you for caring.

 

[MindlessRuffian]

You know...my mother was in Jersey last week and it was actually pleasant (other than the nature of her trip ). We only go into one argument which she later realized was her fault and apologized saying, "I looked and everyone overreacted. If they have a problem with it, they can go f*** themselves".

Our relationship is just....different. I was looking in the mirror getting the fuzz off of my outfit for the wake and she walked into Gram's livingroom. She said, "Holy shit, you have the same butt I had in high school. I used to have that heart shaped back then...." so I looked at her and said, "Is this my future?". She looks up at me, starts cracking up and says, "hahaha, f*** you. You're such a bitch hahaha."

It's just....different.

 

[penfoldsfive]

You know...my mother was in Jersey last week and it was actually pleasant (other than the nature of her trip ). We only go into one argument which she later realized was her fault and apologized saying, "I looked and everyone overreacted. If they have a problem with it, they can go f*** themselves".

Our relationship is just....different. I was looking in the mirror getting the fuzz off of my outfit for the wake and she walked into Gram's livingroom. She said, "Holy shit, you have the same butt I had in high school. I used to have that heart shaped back then...." so I looked at her and said, "Is this my future?". She looks up at me, starts cracking up and says, "hahaha, f*** you. You're such a bitch hahaha."

It's just....different.

mom just claims she loves me

 

[MindlessRuffian]

mom just claims she loves me

My mom loves me too...

 

[penfoldsfive]

she means it.

 

[MindlessRuffian]

she means it.

I don't know why/how you'd figure that one...

 

[Mozzer's Left Eyebrow]

I didn't speak to my mother since 1998. It's quite sad really, but we just don't get on and never have - I was always the outsider in that house. I started writing to my parents recently, just kind of breezy polite notes saying what I'm up to but I never hear back. Even if I did I don't think I'd want to meet up with them, me and them in the same room just isn't meant to be. I can't understand why some people have children only to act like that towards them. I used to be a mess over it when I was younger but I'm over that now. The only thing that scares me is what will happen when they die - how it will feel, and whether I'll even find out. It was kind of drummed into me from a young age that family is a meaningless concept so I find it easy enough to accept, but it still makes me sad sometimes if I'm honest. But as some of the stories on this thread indicate, there's no point flogging a dead horse just to keep up appearances. My mum reminds me of Ann Robinson in character...which is quite good for a quiz show, but not so much to grow up with.