Let me start by saying I disagree with a lot of your points. I'm not saying I am right or wrong but let me have a go at giving you another perspective.
Art Hounds. At first listen I would say the I felt just the same as yourself. The power and energy seemed to be missing, what on earth was that at the start? It has really grown on me in every way, love the production and I think they got it spot on. Still missing that live energy but, for me, this should definitely be one of the 12 tracks of the main album as it is great.
As for the songs released being the best on the album. They weren't going to release 4 of the worst but none of those are better than staircase - that is an absolute gem. Catchy, clever song structure and Morrissey at his very best.
Tamed guitars? Thank god. I personally have had enough of the power chord and distorted riffs of the last albums. I love the fact that there is a new more mature / confident sound, Gustavo has clearly added a huge amount to this album and that is to be applauded.
The band. At last I think the band can take a bow, they should be very proud of what they have created. Musically it is his best album ever. I am not saying these are the best set of songs he has put on an album as it is too early for me to judge but sonically it is the best thing he has done.
I loved 'Art Hounds' when I heard the live version, this version has only compounded my disappointment in the album as a whole. Of course the singles should be the best that he has to offer and at least 'World Peace' and the 'Bull Fighter' have something to convey.
I think 'staircase.. isn't the worst in terms of being interfered with, there is the odd electronic sound and layering and there is that terrible whistle sound at the start that grates. I'm not sure I get the joke entirely, exam stress, pressure, suicide... I don't take it seriously either but I don't find any cleverness there. University life is not something that Morrissey can relate to and I think it shows. Someone has added a lot of spanish guitar, distorted guitar, electronic noise and layering to this album.
Just listened to 'Neal Cassidy...' again and the guitar and the wub wub noise is just so annoying and absolutely detracts from anything that is being sung.
'Forgive someone' the lyrics don't fit into the melody, lots of synth in that tune.
In the middle of 'Julie in the weeds' there is a very strange sound like a radio being tuned it's also at the beginning and at the end of the song. 'Julie in the weeds is too crassly optimistic about suicide, there is no substance, irony or sentiment or lyrical depth.
I love Istanbul 100% beautiful melody and poetic descriptions. 'Kiss me alot' will be a crowd pleaser live.
I liked the last verse of 'kick the bride' but the cow in the field knowing more lyric was weird and the ending was confused musically. Actually there are a lot introductions and endings that are confused musically.
It's difficult to describe what is wrong but I'm glad at least others can concede that there are a lot of exotic sounds on this album that are unrecognizable as being actual instruments.
Females don't come off very well in this album they are kicked, lie down to die amongst weeds, fall and split their skulls, or visit macabre sites of murders/suicides.
Happy to disagree with others and engage in discussion not a bother. Still in shock though, must go have a stiff drink hope I don't fall and split my head three ways.