best in between song banter

[ALLIE WALLS]

I was wondering about Morrissey's speaking between songs and what were the most memorable things he said. Some are annoying but some are absolute gems. For me when I saw him in Hannover when he said that a few years back Germany was probably not the best place to go on holiday.

 

[Similar2Sunday]

Tel Aviv 23/8/2016: "Also, while I'm on the very dull subject of correcting certain things: in the song 'Suedehead' there is the line 'it was a good lay, it was a good lay, it was a good lay' and people titter like that because they think it's S-E-X but a good lay was originally... [audience comment] no, itwasn't, but thank you... it was a beautiful poem and I'm afraid in Suedehead, that's what I meant."

The tone leads me to think this is a serious, non-playful explanation here of that much debated meaning of the line. Also, he says this several songs after Suedehead was played at that show.

Download and listen for yourself here where the banter is very helpfully made into separate tracks: https://www.sendspace.com/file/dqjf3t

 

[Fanny-Anne]

When he mentioned Urban or Urbanus at the Malmö gig in Sweden in 2002 when asking the crowd to name crashing bores.

 

[Anonymous]

"Are you bored yet?"

"No!"

"Well you will be."

 

[Fanny-Anne]

At 43:53 a man in the crowd clearly shouts Urban in the way swedes say it and later Moz repeats it with a clear question mark in his voice.

 

[AztecCamera]

Reckon overheard away from the mic at every concert in a foreign country or not in California. "When can I go back home to Malibu?"

 

[Anonymous]

Moz in Rock en Seine! The whole stuff on Buffalo!
Hilarious

 

[gordyboy9]

Edinburgh in 2009,are you all going to the chippy later.
Dundee in 2011,a fight in Dundee on a Tuesday night,whod have thought it.

 

[Anonymous]

This face leaves in 5 minutes. Be on it.

The Lowry, 2007.

 

[Anonymous]

When he went full Alan Partridge and starting talking about Bill Oddie:

 

[Anonymous]

Edinburgh in 2009,are you all going to the chippy later.
Dundee in 2011,a fight in Dundee on a Tuesday night,whod have thought it.

Except, he didn’t do Edinburgh in 09 or Dundee in 2011.

 

[Quando quando quando]

Not something I heard him say myself but read about on this site.

A girl shouting at him: “Morrissey, I hate you!”

Moz: “Me too”.

And when a fan said “Morrissey, I love you”.
“When did you last see your psychiatrist?”

 

[gordyboy9]

Except, he didn’t do Edinburgh in 09 or Dundee in 2011.

well whenever the f*** it was,im not going to fish out dates on a sunday.

 

[Fanny-Anne]

Reckon overheard away from the mic at every concert in a foreign country or not in California. "When can I go back home to Malibu?"

Simple answer is he can't since he was banned from USA for good and classed as a terrorist which in turn lead him to ban Hugh Clark and other well known terrorists to feel a bit better about himself.

Moz has it coming big time believe you me.

 

[Old Mathew]

well whenever the f*** it was,im not going to fish out dates on a sunday.

But Monday, at work. is another story

 

[Fanny-Anne]

When he went full Alan Partridge and starting talking about Bill Oddie:

https://www.morrissey-solo.com/thre...liam-the-terribles-endorsement-of-tro.137238/

 

[g23]

"After the show I will be selling home made preserves in the lobby. Stop by and say hello."

And from the same show-

"One day I hope to be as culturally significant as Beck."

*audience member* "f*** Beck!"

*Morrissey strikes a thinking pose for a moment* "Tempting, but no."

 

[Case]

"He's drunk...on New Year's Eve...that's terrible" always makes me laugh

 

[Anonymous]

After "Break Up The Family", to someone who kept shouting at him that he needed a belt, Morrissey asked "What size waist are you?".

The person said "36" to which Morrissey replied "Just the right fit!".

At this point Boz, looking concerned about Morrissey's state of mind, tried to get his attention. The man replied "Yes Boz? (Boz: 'Are you alright?') I've never been alright, that's why I'm here!"

 

[Anonymous]

The New Year's Eve show.

Crowd: He's drunk!

Moz: He's drunk on New Year's Eve... I'm gonna call Jesus!