Trust & Distinction amongst good vs. bad

Arsenal said:
Exactly right. I've said that exact same thing to others (and probably Mozzy1) on several occasions.

Could you honestly really like and (most importantly) respect a man who didn't even know or like himself? Just Joe six pack with little ambition, no real drive, hates being alone and needs a new girlfriend so he can find 'the one'? Would that attract you? How could it?

I like being alone, but I also like being around others. If I am alone I can read, listen to music, study language, play a video game, go for a walk or work on one of the many other hobbies and interest I have. I am around people daily for activities and events and I can enjoy that as well, but it's not the end of the world should it not happen, nor do I 'need' anyone to complete my life, or even compliment it. I have myself, an entire world to explore, goals to reach, new things to experience, and yes, I can do it all on my own. If a cool girl comes along that has the same ideas and goals, then cool, if not... that won't bother me a bit, because I'm too busy being alive. ;)

Clingyness, neediness, all those sorts of things are the most blatant turn off in the world for many men. Be strong, intelligent, have something substantial to say, have a goal to pursue and just be happy to be you and be alive. Do that, and there will be bound to be a guy or two that notices and comes along. Be the opposite, and most will notice , and walk away.
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I completely agree with you 100%. What video games do you like?
 
Cassius said:
I completely agree with you 100%. What video games do you like?
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Although I don't play them much these days, I do enjoy Formula One games (the old ones) for nostalgia purpouses, RPG's (again the old ones), and a few sports games. I also love the Resident Evil series. I don't play them much anymore, but they are fun when I have some free time to kill or on the weekends with a bottle of wine as a bit of relaxation.
 
Arsenal said:
Although I don't play them much these days, I do enjoy Formula One games (the old ones) for nostalgia purpouses, RPG's (again the old ones), and a few sports games. I also love the Resident Evil series. I don't play them much anymore, but they are fun when I have some free time to kill or on the weekends with a bottle of wine as a bit of relaxation.
Click to expand...

I love the Resident Evil series too. The new one comes out in March, it looks awesome. This time they are in Africa. The gun control is supposed to be a little better on this one, I think.
 
Cassius said:
I love the Resident Evil series too. The new one comes out in March, it looks awesome. This time they are in Africa. The gun control is supposed to be a little better on this one, I think.
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I don't have any of the newer systems, so I play the classics on the PS1, Code Veronica on the Dreamcast, and the re-makes on the Gamecube. Is there a videogame topic? We should move this there if we plan to continue.
 
Arsenal said:
Clingyness, neediness, all those sorts of things are the most blatant turn off in the world for many men. Be strong, intelligent, have something substantial to say, have a goal to pursue and just be happy to be you and be alive. Do that, and there will be bound to be a guy or two that notices and comes along. Be the opposite, and most will notice , and walk away.
Click to expand...

You are saying that as if only women are clingy and needy, but in my experience, a lot of men are like that too. Before I met my current boyfriend I completely withdrew myself from the "meat market", partly because I was so sick of desperate men. I still wanted to go out and have fun and meet new people but I discovered that it was practically impossible to have a conversation with a strange man without him hoping for something more. I might come across as naive but if you think about it, there really is something wrong with the world when you can't talk to a stranger without them thinking that you want to have sex with them. I found it extremely annoying that men would come up and talk to me, and if I engaged in conversation with them they took that as a sign that they could probably get me to go home with them at the end of the evening. You can't have an interesting conversation with people like that - they would agree with me in everything I said, or, if they realised that I was not interested "in that way", they would simply end the conversation and move on. Many men see it as "leading them on", if you talk to them and then refuse to go further, and they often turn into whiny and pathetic children when the are rejected. I don't see this as very different to the needy and clingy behaviour of some women.

It is so sad when people are not able to have a conversation with another person for any other reason than wanting something from them - sex, love, attention, it's all the same thing. I see it as low self esteem when a person is not secure enough in themselve to appreciate another person for who they are instead of what they can give them. This is why those people are so frightening, and you just want to get away from them - they completely drain your energy because they are so self absorbed. No matter how much attention and love they get it will never be enough and they are unable to give anything back. They are like children. That is why it is so creepy.
 
lnathan said:
You are saying that as if only women are clingy and needy, but in my experience, a lot of men are like that too. Before I met my current boyfriend I completely withdrew myself from the "meat market", partly because I was so sick of desperate men. I still wanted to go out and have fun and meet new people but I discovered that it was practically impossible to have a conversation with a strange man without him hoping for something more. I might come across as naive but if you think about it, there really is something wrong with the world when you can't talk to a stranger without them thinking that you want to have sex with them. I found it extremely annoying that men would come up and talk to me, and if I engaged in conversation with them they took that as a sign that they could probably get me to go home with them at the end of the evening. You can't have an interesting conversation with people like that - they would agree with me in everything I said, or, if they realised that I was not interested "in that way", they would simply end the conversation and move on. Many men see it as "leading them on", if you talk to them and then refuse to go further, and they often turn into whiny and pathetic children when the are rejected. I don't see this as very different to the needy and clingy behaviour of some women.

It is so sad when people are not able to have a conversation with another person for any other reason than wanting something from them - sex, love, attention, it's all the same thing. I see it as low self esteem when a person is not secure enough in themselve to appreciate another person for who they are instead of what they can give them. This is why those people are so frightening, and you just want to get away from them - they completely drain your energy because they are so self absorbed. No matter how much attention and love they get it will never be enough and they are unable to give anything back. They are like children. That is why it is so creepy.
Click to expand...

I totally get what you mean. I have that same problem. The other night I went to a show and I had plans to go with a female friend of mine and when she picked me up she said she had to pick up another friend who was going, and thats whos house we were gonna crash at. and it was this guy, and we totally hit it off really well, but only in the platonic sense. and after the show we stayed up all night drinking and playing music and talking and not once did he get all weird and creepy. I didnt get that vibe from him at all. And it was nice for once to hang out with a guy w/out him trying to make a move or get all weird. I can't remember the last time that's happened, honestly. and it sucks cuz for the most part I do get along better with guys than girls. I really hope he doesnt get all makey outy with me. I'll be really disappointed. INFACT, DURING the damn show, my female friend and I started talking to this guy, cuz he looked interesting. He had long hair and a beard and we started calling him Jesus and he didnt mind. and we were all talking and goofin around, dancing to the music and then he moves in and tries to KISS ME. like WTF dude, I've known you for 15 minutes!!!! :rolleyes:
 
lnathan said:
You are saying that as if only women are clingy and needy, but in my experience, a lot of men are like that too. Before I met my current boyfriend I completely withdrew myself from the "meat market", partly because I was so sick of desperate men. I still wanted to go out and have fun and meet new people but I discovered that it was practically impossible to have a conversation with a strange man without him hoping for something more. I might come across as naive but if you think about it, there really is something wrong with the world when you can't talk to a stranger without them thinking that you want to have sex with them. I found it extremely annoying that men would come up and talk to me, and if I engaged in conversation with them they took that as a sign that they could probably get me to go home with them at the end of the evening. You can't have an interesting conversation with people like that - they would agree with me in everything I said, or, if they realised that I was not interested "in that way", they would simply end the conversation and move on. Many men see it as "leading them on", if you talk to them and then refuse to go further, and they often turn into whiny and pathetic children when the are rejected. I don't see this as very different to the needy and clingy behaviour of some women.

It is so sad when people are not able to have a conversation with another person for any other reason than wanting something from them - sex, love, attention, it's all the same thing. I see it as low self esteem when a person is not secure enough in themselve to appreciate another person for who they are instead of what they can give them. This is why those people are so frightening, and you just want to get away from them - they completely drain your energy because they are so self absorbed. No matter how much attention and love they get it will never be enough and they are unable to give anything back. They are like children. That is why it is so creepy.
Click to expand...

If you go to "meat market" type places it's gonna happen in it? Men don't go to "meat market" places for a chat. (I say in a disgruntled child-like way). :)

To all the Americans here, how many of you go to see a therapist? & how much does it cost? & do you ever get cured & no longer need therapy?

Liz here has been coming here for years & getting free therapy sessions, trouble is she never gets cured, she will always come here & every time she gets the same therapy advice & when people are pissed off with her she goes away for a while then comes back under a new name & asks for more free therapy, which she then gets, then ignores, then people get pissed off she then leaves "never to return", then after a while she returns under a new guise & the circle turns again! & again! & again!

Message to kewpie, can you not just move/merge all Liz's threads to save people posting the same stuff every few months, please?

love

Grim
 
girlunafraid said:
If you go to "meat market" type places it's gonna happen in it? Men don't go to "meat market" places for a chat. (I say in a disgruntled child-like way). :)
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haha I thought I was safe at a "Death Cab for Cutie" show. I still got slobbered on!!! :rolleyes::p can't take me anywhere apparently.
 
girlunafraid said:
If you go to "meat market" type places it's gonna happen in it? Men don't go to "meat market" places for a chat. (I say in a disgruntled child-like way). :)
Click to expand...

Oh yeah, I never went to those places. When I did go out, I went to really small music venues to see local bands, because I knew there would be people there I knew. Perfect place, I thought, to possibly meet new people who shared my taste in music.

I don't know, perhps there is just something about me that attracts that type of people. I seem to run into them alot.
 
Arsenal said:
Believe it or not, most of the people I do talk to, either online or in person agree with me on more than they would like to admit. They just hold back that admittance as it requires the honesty to say things outloud that they would rather just keep inside.
Click to expand...

Well, I admit it gladly that I agree with you on certain things. :) I can't see why I couldn't.

Arsenal said:
Exactly right. I've said that exact same thing to others (and probably Mozzy1) on several occasions.

Could you honestly really like and (most importantly) respect a man who didn't even know or like himself? Just Joe six pack with little ambition, no real drive, hates being alone and needs a new girlfriend so he can find 'the one'? Would that attract you? How could it?

I like being alone, but I also like being around others. If I am alone I can read, listen to music, study language, play a video game, go for a walk or work on one of the many other hobbies and interest I have. I am around people daily for activities and events and I can enjoy that as well, but it's not the end of the world should it not happen, nor do I 'need' anyone to complete my life, or even compliment it. I have myself, an entire world to explore, goals to reach, new things to experience, and yes, I can do it all on my own. If a cool girl comes along that has the same ideas and goals, then cool, if not... that won't bother me a bit, because I'm too busy being alive. ;)

Clingyness, neediness, all those sorts of things are the most blatant turn off in the world for many men. Be strong, intelligent, have something substantial to say, have a goal to pursue and just be happy to be you and be alive. Do that, and there will be bound to be a guy or two that notices and comes along. Be the opposite, and most will notice , and walk away.
Click to expand...

Again I agree with you but the majority of the people are not really outstanding, which is okay, if everybody was outstanding, that would become normal, and we would all be just regular again. On the other hand, the majority of people don't know themselves too well, don't really know what they need, what they want to achieve, what their hobbies are, etc. And if you don't know the answers to all these questions, you expect to have another person in your life to give you those answers and fill the void. Which is alright with me, as long as both parties are happy with that.
 
nugz said:
I totally get what you mean. I have that same problem. The other night I went to a show and I had plans to go with a female friend of mine and when she picked me up she said she had to pick up another friend who was going, and thats whos house we were gonna crash at. and it was this guy, and we totally hit it off really well, but only in the platonic sense. and after the show we stayed up all night drinking and playing music and talking and not once did he get all weird and creepy. I didnt get that vibe from him at all. And it was nice for once to hang out with a guy w/out him trying to make a move or get all weird. I can't remember the last time that's happened, honestly. and it sucks cuz for the most part I do get along better with guys than girls. I really hope he doesnt get all makey outy with me. I'll be really disappointed. INFACT, DURING the damn show, my female friend and I started talking to this guy, cuz he looked interesting. He had long hair and a beard and we started calling him Jesus and he didnt mind. and we were all talking and goofin around, dancing to the music and then he moves in and tries to KISS ME. like WTF dude, I've known you for 15 minutes!!!! :rolleyes:
Click to expand...


Haha, that guy probably thinks he has found the perfect trick to get girl's attention - The Jesus Look.
It's really quite insulting when people think you are that easy.
 
lnathan said:
Haha, that guy probably thinks he has found the perfect trick to get girl's attention - The Jesus Look.
It's really quite insulting when people think you are that easy.
Click to expand...

haha maybe that was it. he was probably just really drunk or something. but yeah i was like "dude, nahhhhh."
 
nugz said:
haha maybe that was it. he was probably just really drunk or something. but yeah i was like "dude, nahhhhh."
Click to expand...

If he could do that water in to wine thing I bet you'd have thought twice about becoming his mate eh? I know I would have! :eek:

love

Grim
 
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