Morrissey's Timeline of Self Loathing

[CrystalGeezer]

I was talking to a friend last night about the Tiffany Stalker documentary, I Think We're Alone Now and how one of the guys had so many hurdles to jump over, being a hermaphrodyte, being in a bike accident that sent him into a coma, then coming out of the coma brain damaged but thinking Tiffany spoke to him in a dream during the coma. He was bizarre, or she, and strange in mannerisms. It got me thinking about MOrrissey. Not because he's bizarre and a hermaphrodyte exactly, but the the hurdles part. I then sat down and facebook's "Morrissey In Quotes" delivered this:

Have you every been in analysis?
"I have, yes, many a time, and left in extreme disgust. I find the billing unrewarding, certainly. But I have been steeped in personal depression for so long that I feel there is nothing any doctor or psychoanalyst can say to me. I know all about depression and the weakening of the human... spirit and struggle, and there is no one who can tell me anything about it, and there is nobody who can help me." (Select, 1994)

And it reminded me of the many hurdles he has. So he's a wordsmith, he plays with words. I've maintained here over and over that Morrissey's brain is different, I suspect he is constantly working out puzzles in his brain. A man who puts SEMISORRY on his drumkit has an interest in anagrams. And have you seen his setlists? He rearranges tenses and substitutes words. I suspect he does that in his brain 24/7, and is witty and alluring on top of that. Then there's this depression which no doubt stems from an essential lack of connection and intimacy that he's discussed multiple times. Again Morrissey in Quotes delivered:

His previous pronouncements on his sexuality have, I suggested, been rather confusing. In interviews he has said, variously, that 'I can't imagine my body ever feeling sexual excitement', that 'I wasn't aware of sexual experience until I was 28', and that 'I lost my virginity at 13'. These statements seemed somewhat in...consistent.
"Well — they are inconsistent, but not all of our lives are as cut and dried and black and white as they should be. Or as they might even seem to be." (Observer, 1992)

And this:

Are you too shy to ask [others to have sex]?
"No. And those whom I have asked have always, always said no, which is very hard to live with. And I've always felt that I was cursed, that I was never meant to have a sex life. And that is as true today as it was when I was seventeen and wondering why." (Details, 1992)

Mind you the quotes are very old and a lot has probably transpired since them, but based on his lyrics and tours, it seems he;s still missing the connection, the tenderness that would spiral any man into debilitating depression. Is it because Morrissey is a prude or a snob? I doubt it. It's like a self-preservation thing, he's simultaneously yearning for and protecting something, and the protector always wins in his case, but he as a person loses. And perhaps he;s been with people and they sort of, disappear, it;s hard to describe and terribly lonely to experience, lonely to the point where it;s easier and less creepy to just GIVE UP on intimacy. Which is f***ing depressing because a body has needs, it needs to be touched and held and carressed. ANd on top of all of this stuff I am very haphazardly touching on, Morrissey has to deal with being FAMOUS! Fans and photos and I LOVE YOU and it;s meaningless and BLAH!

So in conclusion, I seethe when people hint at Morrissey whining about his love life. He has a four course meal on a tea cup saucer but I suspect "we" only know the half of it.