The f*** My Life Thread

BrummieBoy

BrummieBoy - "Facebook Non-Entity"
My friend invited me on an impromptu road trip to Arizona to attend the gay wedding of a mutual friend of ours. Her brother is driving, the same man who has so much road rage that on several occasions after they drove 300 miles to get to my house from where they live my friend has vowed to take the train home and broke out in hives from the stress. So there's a wedding, shitsville Arizona (everything in AZ is creepy and gross), driving with Mad Max of THunderdome and his sister rocking in the fetal position in the backseat...I said I had to work. :D Actually I do but I could've made it happen if the wedding was in Aspen and I was driving. SHe still asked to sleep at my house Friday, the paranoid part of me wonders if she didn't invite me on the fun road trip just to ask if they could spend the night? Oh well, I'm always saying mi casa. When people visit it always gives me the excuse I need to dust.

Shame you can't make it to AZ as it would provide an opportunity for a managed intervention/conflict resolution/peace and reconciliation situation between yourself and RB. Then we could all sleep easily knowing that harmony was restored to the universe. Etc.
 

Oh my god. it's Robby!

spontaneously luminescent
ur funny

Shame you can't make it to AZ as it would provide an opportunity for a managed intervention/conflict resolution/peace and reconciliation situation between yourself and RB. Then we could all sleep easily knowing that harmony was restored to the universe. Etc.
bth_SAM_POINT_zps1a462269.gif
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
All these awesome applicants who seem right for the community and make enough money and like the unit...then they have a felony. Don't get felonies, guys. One of them I would've let slide but boss said NO. She claims she was driving with a friend and the car exploded so she pulled off the side of the road and the fire department put the fire out. EVERYTHING burned except for her friend's backpack which had three pounds of marijuana in it. Since it was in her car she got nabbed for possession with intent to sell. SHe was so sweet too, like a Julia Stiles doppleganger. Oh well.
 
Life would be so much easier for everyone if people actually raised their issues in person like adults rather than being melodramatic passive-aggressive dickheads on Twitter. f*** my life, but moreover, f*** my shitty luck for having two housemates in a row who I've had to tiptoe around and who have made me feel like total crap in my own home. I've had to keep quiet for fear of my everyday life being made extraordinarily difficult for the past two years and I'm getting ready to burst right about now.
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
Life would be so much easier for everyone if people actually raised their issues in person like adults rather than being melodramatic passive-aggressive dickheads on Twitter. f*** my life, but moreover, f*** my shitty luck for having two housemates in a row who I've had to tiptoe around and who have made me feel like total crap in my own home. I've had to keep quiet for fear of my everyday life being made extraordinarily difficult for the past two years and I'm getting ready to burst right about now.

Then burst.
 
Then burst.

Can't sadly, really want to turn around and tell her what an utterly vicious little dickhead she is but it would make things even harder for me and my other housemate. I've watched her shit all over so many people recently if they've called her out on anything and I have no doubt she'd do the same to me given half the chance.
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
Sue bought a Shark. It's mop that vibrates and cleans pergo easily. It works like a charm on a normally dirty floor. After Easter dinner where it looks like people walloed in a vat of grease and rolled around, the Shark makes things worse. I literally spent two hours coating the entire house with an evenly vibrated layer of grease and cleaning product. It's a nightmare, I have to go back tomorrow and start all over, I was too f***ing exhausted after shampooing car interior in the sun and doing the other little things she wanted done not knowing how long it all took. So I gotta get up tomorrow at the crack of dawn, start over on her floor again, get back to the winds by 9 to show a place, leave by 10 to get to Noah by 11 to get him to LAX by 12, take Crash to my moms, get back here to clean MY HOUSE so I can entertain my guests who get here at 8 and probably show two other people the apartment since Craiglist refreshed. In short I have to be on point tomorrow, so many f***ing things to do. And I better water the plants tonight, they look wilty and there won't be time tomorrow. And I need to shower. And I need to check my sock drawer. And I need to sleep because I can't do 100 activities on less that 7 hours. Gimme 30.
 

Peterb

Well-Known Member
Sue bought a Shark. It's mop that vibrates and cleans pergo easily. It works like a charm on a normally dirty floor. After Easter dinner where it looks like people walloed in a vat of grease and rolled around, the Shark makes things worse. I literally spent two hours coating the entire house with an evenly vibrated layer of grease and cleaning product. It's a nightmare, I have to go back tomorrow and start all over, I was too f***ing exhausted after shampooing car interior in the sun and doing the other little things she wanted done not knowing how long it all took. So I gotta get up tomorrow at the crack of dawn, start over on her floor again, get back to the winds by 9 to show a place, leave by 10 to get to Noah by 11 to get him to LAX by 12, take Crash to my moms, get back here to clean MY HOUSE so I can entertain my guests who get here at 8 and probably show two other people the apartment since Craiglist refreshed. In short I have to be on point tomorrow, so many f***ing things to do. And I better water the plants tonight, they look wilty and there won't be time tomorrow. And I need to shower. And I need to check my sock drawer. And I need to sleep because I can't do 100 activities on less that 7 hours. Gimme 30.
Sounds like a good time to aquire a cocaine habit.
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
Proof of my Irish heritage. fml

10245568_10203241186778097_8274347829286533171_n.jpg
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
I told a little girl she couldn't run around the pool and she looked at me like I killed her puppy and murdered her parents. :(

I hate having to be the boss of the kids sometimes. Usually it's easy but sometimes they flash you these looks that make your heart melt, I just don't want her to get hurt.

We had this exchange 20 minutes ago and I'm still bothered by it. She could slip and crack her skull open, I know, I've done it several times. :p
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
I have to be a witness today to the signing of a power of attorney for my employer's sister who is dying. It makes me sad that this may be the last time I'll see her, she loves me for some reason, she's like my biggest fan. I said some prayers for her recovery but you can only do so much when a person refuses to see the doctor. She's dying of liver disease. I hope it's quick. I can't cry, I'll laugh a lot and make jokes instead. :o
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
cantona-morrisey.png
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
I'm losing my mind.

My employer has enough patio furniture that should she decide to throw a party tomorrow there'd be enough places for 80 people to have a place to sit. There is literally wicker chairs stacked everywhere. They sit in EXACTLY the same spot every day leaving 78 other places to sit. So for some reason the lady of the house has it in her brain that one particular seating area with a love seat and a couple of chairs arranged around a table with a rug under it be vacuumed every week. Not swept, I have to heft the 50 pound vacuum out and move shit around and use extension cords and OMG. NOBODY EVER SITS IN IT!!! WHY f***ING BOTHER!!! ROLL UP THE GODDAM RUG SO TEN LEAVES AREN'T BOTHERSOME!!!!!!! Also who is she trying to impress? The gardeners? Because they could care less about the little seating area, NOBODY EVER SITS IN IT. WHY MAKE LIFE SO FLIPPIN' DIFFICULT???????????????????????????????????????

Then when I leave it, the next time, "Ummmmm, Amie. You forgot to vacuum the rug outside. It's important you vacuum the rug outside." AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.

/endrant

I feel better now.
 
Last edited:

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
So I'm stressing out over what to do with this preggers cat who my next door neighbor kept pressuring me to catch. The longer I spend time with an animal the more I bond to it, she's hissing and howling at me with love. TURNS OUT this same neighbor who was telling me I shouldn't give the cat cold water "because it isn't good for her." (EFF YOU, it's Brita, the alternative is nothing and the temperature of the water is the LEAST of our concerns when a howling, scared cat about to pop out babies is making my dog quiver in a trap on my back porch.) Anyway, she's standing there being critical and says nonchalantly, "I have a friend who deals with feral cats, tries to train them...."

WHY THE f***ING f***ETY f*** f*** f*** DID WE NOT START WITH THAT SENTENCE THE SECOND I SET THE TRAP OUT?!!!!?!?!?!?!??!?????!?!?!?!??!?!?!

Now she's saying she'll email her AFTER she goes to the bank and runs some errands and...

No. YOU EMAIL HER NOW! But I can't say that becuase I have to keep the peace and be the calm authority figure and she's really weird.
 

Mozza220559

Surmontil 50
On my way home from work tonight I got a f***ing flat tyre. And to top it off I had to pull to the side of the road with some c*** faced bitch giving me aggro for stopping, I nearly knocked the c***s head off.
 
Tags
*pole dansa bikehumpa bordwalk empire doggie style fanny freeze i like moaning lol ha! loserville pepper balls real talk robby 4 mod robby appeases robby rocks robbygod scott=sad shawnhaspenis small bike sodeepinside spicy crotch suicide talk
Top Bottom