Recent content by Bonaparte Shandy

  1. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey A-Z: "You're the One for Me, Fatty"

    It's me and him's make-up song.
  2. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey Central "BARRY RYAN dies, aged 72" (October 8, 2021)

    Oh how bastardly awful. I remember meeting his lovely wife once - wasn't she the Sheik Of Oman's daughter? Or something.
  3. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey A-Z: "Will Never Marry"

    And YET . . . sometimes it just happens when you least expect it. Mr Shandy and myself had this played at our civil ceremony in SUCH an archly ironic way that the Registrar virtually burst out of his waistcoat. And onwards, onwards - these things become the soundtrack of a relationship mapped by...
  4. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey A-Z: "Wide to Receive"

    Mr Shandy has just returned from his daily constitutional up Shude Hill. He's had an idea, so he has. He thinks so much of this 'what do we think of this' idea that he's had an idea of his own. This is how it would work: 'So, here's a record cover of someone's arse - what do we think of this...
  5. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey A-Z: "Wide to Receive"

    It's deliciously pure filth, isn't it? ISN'T IT? The 'wide' concept in the context of those brylcreamed and brilliantined 1970s footballers was such a cheeky dig in the ribs - all those Jimmies, Jackies, Jeffies and Bobbies together in deep white-tiled communal baths collectively soaping Nobby's...
  6. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey A-Z: "Who Will Protect Us from the Police?"

    Venezuela? We think he's referring to every Saturday on the Blackfriars/Chapel Street/Deansgate triangle of brutality from around 1976 through to the early 1990s. Goodness, it was a rough city back then.
  7. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey A-Z: "We'll Let You Know"

    Oh, my dear. I'll explain again: we're a couple - Mr Shandy and myself, Mr Shandy.
  8. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey A-Z: "We'll Let You Know"

    Mr Shandy (not I) was the real hooligan, I simply loitered in the background thrilling at the sheer LUSTFULNESS of it all. Oh, Mr Shandy was a sight (Levi 501 jeans, Fred Perry polo shirts, white button down shirts and Crombie jackets) as he rampaged across the terraces of Parks Boundary...
  9. Bonaparte Shandy

    What song are you listening to right now?

    'Don't throw the lamp at Father, Mother! It's a waste of oil'
  10. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey A-Z: "Seasick, Yet Still Docked"

    Oh, to be taken up the Irwell one more time...
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  12. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey A-Z: "Oboe Concerto"

    The song is, of course, pure filth. Mr Shandy, for example, could often be caught in the toilets of 'Peveril of the Peak' playing the oboe concerto on a young waiter from the Midland Hotel. And so on. Utter. Filth. We. Love. It.
  13. Bonaparte Shandy

    Morrissey A-Z: "Nobody Loves Us"

    ‘NUL POINTS!’ Nobody Loves Us! Is that what this is? Oh, please yourself. Goddard recognises the brilliance of the song yet tosses it off in a paragraph (whilst droning on for ages about ‘Golden Lights’) so you can tell exactly where his archy pointy head is at. This is THE definitive...
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