I Feel Lost

I feel lost.I feel lost in this life,in this world.I feel like there is no place for me and I feel I haven`t any purpose in life.I want to find my way I just don`t know how or where to start.Most people my age have already figured this out I guess. I just want my chance at a life I can be proud of. I want to find happiness.

I feel really,really sad a great deal of the time.At other times I just feel empty....I feel nothing.....I feel numb.I am a worthless and useless human being.This illness has sometimes made me feel like it`s taken everything from me.A chance to find love or companionship or even just having friends.I feel awkward and uneasy around people I don`t know. It`s sometimes difficult to find the joy in things I once loved. I know I don`t have it as bad as some people and believe me I am grateful for that.I have my family and mostly they do their best to understand.Even with my family I can`t help but feel alone in this illness. I don`t share much with anybody about it so I suppose it`s part of my fault that I feel so alone. It`s just that mental illness still has a stigma attached to it and I`m afraid of what others might think of me.I already hate myself.I know what others think of me shouldn`t matter but I`m human and it does.

I want to know what it feels like to have peace in my mind.

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Tibby
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