I usually never write here at this hour but I had a dream and it just had made me feel like it.
I have never been the type of girl who dreamed of big,white wedding dresses and big,fancy weddings.That just wasn`t me. But I didn`t dream of being alone either. I have my family but I can`t help feeling alone because I don`t have a romantic relationship.
It wouldn`t be bad to have someone to talk to and lie next to at night.I guess I would like to have something like that.I guess I only have myself to blame for being in the place I`m in.I don`t think I ever really tried for various reasons.The main one being "no one will ever like me".So I thought to myself why even try.I am/was just so afraid of being rejected.I do know that you don`t need another person to define or complete you but I guess what I`m saying is sucks to be lonely.I hate feeling like I don`t have much to show for my life and that makes me feel like such a loser.I feel I`m at an age when everything should be settled(almost everyone I know is married with kids) instead I just feel so lost a great deal of the time.Maybe what I long for is stability especially inside my head.
I have never been the type of girl who dreamed of big,white wedding dresses and big,fancy weddings.That just wasn`t me. But I didn`t dream of being alone either. I have my family but I can`t help feeling alone because I don`t have a romantic relationship.
It wouldn`t be bad to have someone to talk to and lie next to at night.I guess I would like to have something like that.I guess I only have myself to blame for being in the place I`m in.I don`t think I ever really tried for various reasons.The main one being "no one will ever like me".So I thought to myself why even try.I am/was just so afraid of being rejected.I do know that you don`t need another person to define or complete you but I guess what I`m saying is sucks to be lonely.I hate feeling like I don`t have much to show for my life and that makes me feel like such a loser.I feel I`m at an age when everything should be settled(almost everyone I know is married with kids) instead I just feel so lost a great deal of the time.Maybe what I long for is stability especially inside my head.