Chester!!!

Morrissey at the Chester Northgate Arena. Wednesday 11th December.

It’s been a long wait. An almost eternally long wait. And that wait feels even more agonising when you feel just like Morrissey does - misunderstood, maladjusted and in a continual state of unrequited love.

For me, he is, as Johnny Rogan (author of "The Severed Alliance" - the story of Morrissey, Marr and the Smiths) put it - ‘the last true pop star’.

Missing him in his heyday with the Smiths (It wasn’t my fault, I was born into the world a few years too late) as well as his early solo career with the Kill Uncle / Bona Drag tours and even the ‘95 Boxers / Vauxhall and I tour, I finally held in my hand a ticket for entry into a venue which was to behold sites of unrivalled fan worship, adulation and hysteria. I should have been prepared for this though, as I remember a fellow Moz fan in Manchester’s town centre, with quiff in full flight, ripping off his The Queen Is Dead T-shirt to allow us to bow and pray to the garment in front of a few bemused onlookers. The most loyal fans in the world were to "unite, and take over" tonight.

This was only one of two concerts which Morrissey played in Britain (the other being Battersea - how apt!), after playing over fifty shows in the U.S., and with a capacity of only 1100, tickets were highly in demand. Being the only concert in the whole of the North by him, I heard of people travelling from Germany, the U.S. and even Japan!

Accompanied with a couple of Moz fanatics (one of us even looked almost exactly the same as Morrissey ) we made my way to glamorous Chester, with my obligatory flowery shirt, longcoat and flower in back pocket. Before making our way to the venue, we purchased our flowers, as well as adorning the pavement outside a butcher’s shop with chalk - "Meat Is Murder". Fearing the wrath of the shopkeeper we hurriedly made our way to the Northgate Arena.

It certainly seems though as the Smiths legacy is dwindling, along with its fans. The audience were all quite old, quiffs were out, and floral tributes were rare, and was nothing compared to the Hulmerist video of ‘88.

The support act Elcka were ‘interesting’ to say the least, and it’s hard to understand why Morrissey once said that this band "changed his life". The singer was engaging, energetic and the whole band seemed to be enjoying themselves despite the uninterested crowd. Personally I thought they were excellent, and hope to see them again soon.

After Elcka finished their set, there was another wait until 9:15, and the crowd was teased by the smoke machine being turned on twice. Eventually, the whole two minute drum roll of "The Operation" started up with a strobe light accompanying it. The curtains fell and revealed a typical Morrissey homoerotic funny image of two men in a swimming pool. This drum opening served to build the tension higher and higher until finally the Moz came on to a huge cheer, greeted us with "Hello CHESTER!", and launched into "Do Your Best And Don’t Worry" from his last (and worst) dark but patchy album - Southpaw Grammar. This being the first ever Moz concert that I’d ever been to, and seeing how old the crowd was, I was amazed by the atmosphere created and everyone went ballistic for the first four VERY loud songs which were perfect for pogoing/dancing to - "Boy Racer", "Reader Meet Author" and "Billy Budd".

The next song was a surprise. Morrissey introduced this by saying "And here’s something from Strangeways...here’s my bum". Oh, how hilarious. Out of all the songs from the Smiths canon, "Paint A Vulgar Picture" was played, which I thought was a strange choice, but still it was good enough for us all. Any Smiths song is good enough for us all. But no matter how hard you try to imagine yourself at a Smiths gig, it just doesn’t work!

"Spring-Heeled Jim" was nothing special, and at the end Moz moaned "It’s good to get out of Altrincham" which received a few boos as he hasn’t played in Manchester in over ten years.

The abysmal "The Teachers Are Afraid Of The Pupils" was then played to muted applause, and dragged on for what seemed like eternity (even though it was shortened from it’s 12 minute album version to about 8 minutes). When Morrissey repeatedly crooned towards the end of the song "to be finished, would be a relief", it seemed to have a double meaning...

The stunning "Now My Heart Is Full" followed, and at this point I found myself being launched over the seething mass of bodies, over the barrier and caught by the security guard. As he was walking me off, he got distracted by a girl trying to get onstage, and at this point I spotted my chance and quickly scrambled onto the metre high stage and hugged Morrissey, dragging him onto the floor and kissing him. All this happened so fast, in blurry haze, and when I screamed towards the crowd with my arms held high, hearing their cheers, I was almost crying and laughing at the same time. Very sad I know...

A brilliant rendition of "Speedway" followed, and a mass singalong carried through the two singles from Maladjusted - "Roy’s Keen" and "Alma Matters".

The gorgeous but underrated "Trouble Loves Me" and the next single "Satan Rejected My Soul" (which sounded terrible musically) finished off the main set. To anyone whose been to any Morrissey concert in the last 6 years though, it was very obvious what the encore would be - a slightly faster version of the excellent Smiths song "Shoplifters Of The World Unite". And to this everyone went suitably barmy, and breathed a huge sigh at the end, wishing for more, but it was not to be...

Overall, Moz’s voice was on top form, and his rockabilly backing band were played solid and tight and to me this concert was absolutely fantastic, especially due to the electric atmosphere.