My secret's my enzyme.
I don't get this joke. Does anyone else?
You put fake fur on the soles of the skies, in the old days they pust skin/fur from seals but now it's synthetic. This synthetic fur prevents the skiis from gliding downwards, it is very effective. Then you have a special device that you put on the skies which make it possible for you to move your feet up and down while walking with your skies. And then you just move your feet up and down in the skiis, walking upwards. It is not really difficult but it's very tiresome going up a ski slope this way.
Ooh you are cheeky you! Any luck?
To quote Del Boy:"Lots of it, all bad". Although I don't think he was talking about cruising public toilets.
What the f*** am I talking about?!?!
If your question was serious, I did once go into a public toilet in Dublin and a guy there was openly masturbating (I wrote wanking, then changed it) - I tried to ignore him, then he came and stood next to me. I looked him right in the eye and said, "What the f*** are you doing? Look at you!" and he seemed genuinely shocked.
Also, one time in Bristol I saw a homeless man with a massive appendage masturbating at a bus stop at 3am.
I seem to attract wankers..