Finding out that somebody you cared about is actually a heartless insincere liar

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yesitis

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Any tips as to how to get over this?

When you think you know somebody and then find out that they have lied straight to your face how are you supposed to trust anyone ever again?
 
Any tips as to how to get over this?

When you think you know somebody and then find out that they have lied straight to your face how are you supposed to trust anyone ever again?

Life sucks and people are shit. If you can't get over it, stop leaving the house and cancel your internet and phone service.
 
I'm not going to give you the reaction you want.

Mostly because I agree with you.

Do you really think all people are shit though?

I do. And did. But for a while there I was convinced that I knew someone different.

I'm going to respond to your initial post which ended with "Kill yourself or get over it.". Not sure why you felt the need to tone it down. You pussy.

I want to get over it but I'm not sure how. That's why I asked for tips.

And I am killing myself. Slowly. I figure if I keep living the way I'm living I'll be dead soon enough.

In response to your amended (pussified) post, I don't really see what my internet and phone connection has to do with anything. Thanks though.
 
I'm not going to give you the reaction you want.

Mostly because I agree with you.

Do you really think all people are shit though?

I do. And did. But for a while there I was convinced that I knew someone different.

I'm going to respond to your initial post which ended with "Kill yourself or get over it.". Not sure why you felt the need to tone it down. You pussy.

I want to get over it but I'm not sure how. That's why I asked for tips.

And I am killing myself. Slowly. I figure if I keep living the way I'm living I'll be dead soon enough.

In response to your amended (pussified) post, I don't really see what my internet and phone connection has to do with anything. Thanks though.

I toned it down, as you put it, because I don't think suicide solves anything and also because it's a very short-sighted and cowardly act. And I said it with intentional hyperbole. But to say "kill yourself" as a catch all for "give up" could be misconstrued as an actual recommendation for suicide, which I would never actually advocate in a literal sense. So I clarified my statement, because God knows that most people here can't read between the lines.

But sure, you can believe it's because I'm a pussy. Whatever makes you happy.

The internet and the telephone are common ways to interact with people. You said you had been hurt by someone. So I mentioned disabling those things in the context of "shielding" your obviously paper-thin-skinned self from getting butthurt again by another member of your social circle.

But go on, drink yourself to death (or whatever the f*** you're referring to doing), you reckless lost soul, you. Put on a few Morrissey records and have a good cry.

Oh boo hoo.
 
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Any tips as to how to get over this?

When you think you know somebody and then find out that they have lied straight to your face how are you supposed to trust anyone ever again?

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The key is to understand the motivation behind the lie. Was it gratuitous manipulation for selfish purposes? Or was it self-preservation? If it is the former, run like hell from this person and be happy you escaped alive. If it is the latter, can you blame him or her? Perhaps the lie was motivated by fear. Everybody lies. Only the special ones forgive.
 
People really are shit though, aren't they?

I mean, if someone is able to look you in the eyes and say "I love you" while at the same time fantasizing about being with someone else then why would I believe anything anyone says?

"Your hair looks nice."

"f*** OFF YOU LYING c***."

The only reason I can't get over this is because I genuinely (stupidly) thought this person was different.

I am inclined to agree with Morrissey about people being identical all over the place or whatever he says.
 
People really are shit though, aren't they?

I mean, if someone is able to look you in the eyes and say "I love you" while at the same time fantasizing about being with someone else then why would I believe anything anyone says?

"Your hair looks nice."

"f*** OFF YOU LYING c***."

The only reason I can't get over this is because I genuinely (stupidly) thought this person was different.

I am inclined to agree with Morrissey about people being identical all over the place or whatever he says.

First of all, Morrissey has nothing to do with your personal life. Are you fif-f***ing-teen? Then leave Morrissey out of it.

Trusting someone and needing companionship doesn't make you stupid, it makes you human. It sucks that you were treated that way, but like I said, get used to it, man. (Woman?)

People are shit.
 
realitybites, I'm pretty sure it was the whole gratuitous manipulation deal.

I have nothing to do with this person any more.

Skylarker, thanks for the double post. Me calling you a pussy was intentional hyperbole too. Snap!

You don't really know anything about me but thanks for the insight.

I don't have a "social circle". I have no friends and haven't spoken to anybody aside from people payed to interact with me in months.

I also haven't listened to Morrissey in months. I'm really excited for the new Anaal Nathrakh album though. What about you?

Boo hoo indeed.
 
realitybites, I'm pretty sure it was the whole gratuitous manipulation deal.

I have nothing to do with this person any more.

Skylarker, thanks for the double post. Me calling you a pussy was intentional hyperbole too. Snap!

You don't really know anything about me but thanks for the insight.

I don't have a "social circle". I have no friends and haven't spoken to anybody aside from people payed to interact with me in months.

I also haven't listened to Morrissey in months. I'm really excited for the new Anaal Nathrakh album though. What about you?

Boo hoo indeed.

What's an Anaal Nathrakh. Sounds like a Doctor Who villain.
 
I don't think I said that trusting people or needing companionship made you stupid.

I said that I feel like a fool for trusting this person when they turned out to be an untrustworthy liar with nothing but their own selfish desires in mind.

Two very different things.

It does suck. You're right.

People are shit. You're right.

And please stop reading far too much into the things I'm saying. You're right. Morrissey has nothing to do with anything. It was a pithy statement made solely because I'm writing this in a place about the man.

And Anaal Nathrakh is actually a line from the movie Excalibur. Also an amazing band.
 
I don't think I said that trusting people or needing companionship made you stupid.

I said that I feel like a fool for trusting this person when they turned out to be an untrustworthy liar with nothing but their own selfish desires in mind.

Two very different things.

It does suck. You're right.

People are shit. You're right.

And please stop reading far too much into the things I'm saying. You're right. Morrissey has nothing to do with anything. It was a pithy statement made solely because I'm writing this in a place about the man.

And Anaal Nathrakh is actually a line from the movie Excalibur. Also an amazing band.

Yeah well you are the one whining on a public forum to strangers about some vague but apparently acutely painful personal problem you are having, and how you feel like a fool and are living so dangerously as to slowly kill yourself if you don't stop, and how Morrissey was right, etc etc. So I'm not really "reading too much" into what you're saying. I'm responding in kind. Have I asked you for details? Do I care? No. I'm just offering general responses to a vague post asking for advice.

If you don't want to be analyzed, don't put your f***ing personal shit on a web forum.
 
I was mostly just talking about people who work in shops.

Although a couple of months ago I went to Amsterdam and paid to have a chat with a prostitute. We did some coke and had some beers and it cost me about 100 euros to sit and talk with her for about 45 minutes.

Believe it or not the only thing we did was talk. I'd tried striking up conversations with other non-working people but I guess there's something deeply unpleasant about me that repels people.

That was a low point.

I am really really incredibly lonely.

Boo hoo indeed.
 
Ok. Thanks Skylarker.

Feel free to ignore me if I'm annoying you.

Or don't. It's up to you. :thumb:

But I do think you're reading too much into what I'm saying.

When you said I should kill myself I didn't really think you werew suggesting I should kill myself.

When I jokingly misquoted Morrissey I wasn't suggesting that his words were vastly important to me.

It's hard to read meaning on forums when being pithy.

Sorry.

I don't think I'm being terribly vague either.

If you'd like more information let me know.
 
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I was mostly just talking about people who work in shops.

Although a couple of months ago I went to Amsterdam and paid to have a chat with a prostitute. We did some coke and had some beers and it cost me about 100 euros to sit and talk with her for about 45 minutes.

Believe it or not the only thing we did was talk. I'd tried striking up conversations with other non-working people but I guess there's something deeply unpleasant about me that repels people.

That was a low point.

I am really really incredibly lonely.

Boo hoo indeed.

Shop workers. I guess feigning interest in you falls under the customer service umbrella. But ya, it is fake and forced.

I've been to the Red Light District in Amsterdam three separate times. Can be a depressing place. Not exactly the place to make meaningful connections.

Find out what is deeply unpleasant about yourself. Looking glass self. What are others mirroring back to you? Then change your ways. Or don't, and accept yourself for who you are. The key to not being lonely is to enjoy your own company more than you enjoy being with others. How do you do this? Try loving yourself for starters. Can't do that? Then become the person who you can love.
 
I was mostly just talking about people who work in shops.

Although a couple of months ago I went to Amsterdam and paid to have a chat with a prostitute. We did some coke and had some beers and it cost me about 100 euros to sit and talk with her for about 45 minutes.

If there's anything I never understood it's prostitution. I cannot fathom spending money in order to be with a woman.

Then again, at least it's an honest, no-bullshit version of dating in general, so...there's that.
 
Find out what is deeply unpleasant about yourself. Looking glass self. What are others mirroring back to you? Then change your ways. Or don't, and accept yourself for who you are. The key to not being lonely is to enjoy your own company more than you enjoy being with others. How do you do this? Try loving yourself for starters. Can't do that? Then become the person who you can love.

for-your-health.jpg
 
realitybites, that last paragraph sounds a bit like new-agey balderdash flimflam to me sorry. I get what you're saying though.

I've always always always had a pretty negative view of myself. I've been to therapists and all that before but nothing has ever changed.

When I was with this person I felt like I was getting better. A lot of that was thanks to the way she made me feel. I was happier. I hadn't had a panic attack in about a year and a half. Then this person decided she'd rather be with someone else and f***ed off. A few days later she decided to give me a list of my faults, one of which was my constant (CONSTANT) PANIC ATTACKS. So that threw me back into the shithole. If I don't die (not a cry for help nor as a result of living DANGEROUSLY as that dingus Skylarker suggested) then maybe I'll somehow crawl my way back out.

I honestly can't imagine being able to trust another person though. That's what this is all about.
 
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