Do you ever come to the Board just to see if a Certain Someone had posted anything?

  • Thread starter Abrahan "Palare" Garza
  • Start date
None of my business, but just wanted to say this is the longest thread ever!
 
Re: None of my business, but just wanted to say this is the longest thread ever!

>

by the way... what is it all about? let me try... a guy with no life, searchirg for his internet love. she is a snobe from texas and he is a dope, from a dope show. OH ZUT...devant susana, le gens font patiemment la queue...
 
Re: None of my business, but just wanted to say this is the longest thread ever!

>

and we're glad that you were there every step of the way.

We will have a pop-quiz on what's been going on for the past 4 months
 
Re: None of my business, but just wanted to say this is the longest thread ever!

> devant susana, le
> gens font patiemment la queue...

c'est vrai - tu devrais tenter cela aussi.
 
Re: Dis moi...

> c'est vrai - tu devrais tenter cela aussi.

Really??? it kind of turns me on !!!! is she so hot??
 
Re: Dis moi...

> Really??? it kind of turns me on !!!! is she so hot??

Mon cher, je pensais à une autre chose.
 
Re: Dis moi...

> Mon cher, je pensais à une autre chose.

my boby speaking louder than my mind...AGAIN.
 
Re: Dis moi...

> my boby speaking louder than my mind...AGAIN.

you are INSANE...but understandable.
 
Re: Dis moi...

> you are INSANE...but understandable.

am i?? ...ok, that was a rudness. i thought that you were lovers or something. ops... i did it again. but don't worry, cause my wife is often near me, reminding me that we have a family. ...merry xmas.
 
Re: Dis moi...

> am i?? ...ok, that was a rudness. i thought that you were lovers
> or something.

oh god no. Fabricio is married with a wife, and I'm always looking to the stars baby, yeah!

besides, hadn't you been reading? I look like Carnie Wilson.

>ops... i did it again. but don't worry, cause my
> wife is often near me, reminding me that we have a family.

hmm. I don't know that feeling. What does it feel like having someone who was once a complete stranger on the street living in your house and following you around with a miniature human that looks somewhat like you?
 
Re: movie star

hello Suzanne,

well, the sitiuation is a little bit surrealistic now: I'm hearing some modern Christmas
songs from a cd I bought to my daughter. She is in side of me, dancing... An aunt of my
wife is here too, but she doesn't understand english, so I can write without further
preoccupations :)

>
> > Fortunately I didn't lost it and I don't want to imagine what
> > would become of me if I
> > did it! :)
>
> > oh poor Suzanne. How are you now?
>
> it was a false alarm. I have no idea what that was except the speculation that
> the one day I was out in the cow pasture didn't agree with my sinuses.

but it was a good experience even with all this, wasn't it? I think it's a price we have
to pay sometimes.
>
> But jeez, I was tired on sunday.
>
> i was sort of praying for illness. a day off from everything. I do that until
> I get sick and then I wise up and remember why i hate being sick.

hehe...

Being sick was a somewhat good experience during my childhood, because my mother always
said to me to not go to school when I had even weak flus... and I've always wanted
having a little bit sick to not go to work - but when I'm sick this way, I stay in bed
all day long what is a rather good experience.

"Jesus Jesus you spoke and nobody heard" is what I'm hearing now (in portuguese), in the
cd I bought to my daughter...

>
> I sort of got that when the weather turned bad and there was ice on the road,
> but I wasted it by getting up nearly on time this morning. I thought everyone
> would be there, but I beat the next closest person in by an hour.

oh, I hate cold days, and I think I said it to you...:)

the weather here is very hot today, but it's raining weakly since the hours, what
refreshes the weather. So it's Curitiba is a good place to be stay right now.

>
> > I thought I was getting a flu the night from Monday to Tuesday
> > because I was so tired
> > and I had pain in my body and I pratically couldn't sleep.
> > Yesterday night I was like
> > this too, as I wrote you. But almost miraculously I am much
> > better today. My daughter is
> > sleeping and I'm writing much earlier than I use to (it's
> > exactly 19:37 pm now).
>
> > Well, probably she'll wake up in when Í'll be writing, so I'll
> > have to finish this
> > message at night! :)
>
> don;'t want her seeing what your hobbies are?

hehe, normally we stay together in the dining room where's there's no computer... but
right now she is with me in the computer room and she wants to see a cd-rom with me...
i'll have to return after it...

... hey, it's 1:23 am and my daughter doesn`t want to sleep at all. She is alone at the
dining room, and this worrying me...

>
> > I am hearing Bach now - oh it's so wonderful!
>
> I'm listening to Blur. i got it a couple of hours ago because i had this weird
> craving for it.

Well, I always have weird craving for buying cds!

And this blur one is good? it seems to.

As for what I'm listening now, I'm hearing the soap opera made children called
"Chiquititas"... :)

well, more minutes passed sind and hey, I don't believe what I did! I brought my
computer to the dining room to be in side of my daughter!

I can't really believe... :)

>
> > oh, I have to see this film!
>
> > oh, I didn't see this film unfortunately - probably I'll have to
> > do it the next days.
>
> haven't you seen the guy who plays the miniature version of Dr. Evil?? The
> midget!

oh no...

>
> > so you were lead by a man on a horse with his face painted? this
> > is amazing!
>
> it was funny and strange at the same time.

this is exactly the idea I have about it.

>
> despite that and being there for 12 hours, I enjoyed it.

hehe... I would like it too. I like doing intense things.

>
> > you see, I would like to make something like that in a film.
> > There was a time when I
> > wanted to be a TV actor, because I dreamt frequently I was one.
>
> I've always had that dream. I sort of got a little start way back in
> highschool when I did a couple of plays, but it was miserable with a very odd
> ending to it all.
>
> I remember my first play that I was a librarian in Up the Downstair Case. It
> was a small role and I got it mostly because they couldn't get enough people
> to be in the play.
>
> Anyway, it was a battle of me vs. everyone else. Even though I had tiny
> scenes, the drama teacher kept picking on me perpetually like I was the worst
> thing. The bitch even stole my script when she couldn't find hers and played
> dumb when I came around looking for it. Everyone on the cast was a bunch of
> the popular kids who weren't exactly forgiving.

It's common seeing in american movies how bad are these "popular" kids in general.
That's why I like Dawson's Creek so much - as me the principal characters aren't
"popular" ones but they simply don't care about the "popular". They have their own
group. It's a kind of relief to the normal people, because in Dawson's Creek the
"non-popular" have self esteem in general. We should unite and take over, you know? :)

>
> So, the opening night comes, and I'm like "screw it" and I went up on stage
> and delivered my first line and walked off and EVERYBODY in the audience
> started laughing. Considering the treatment I had been getting for the past
> month, I knew they were laughing at how bad I was and some guy back stage even
> offered consolation because he thought that they too were laughing at me.
>
> So, I went backstage just kind of dejected and wondering why I was there.
> Then, my next part came up, and I did that, and they laughed again, but this
> time I heard someone say, "she's wonderful!"
>
> There was a comment box near the entrance where some anonymous people left
> some nice comments. The Vice principal loved it. For the next year he kept
> coming up to me wanting me to do those lines again.

So there was more than a person that liked your job? And they people laughed because
they liked you or not?

>
> For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why I was being treated like @#!!!
> by everyone involved in the production, but everyone else really went for it.
> I still can't.

I really felt for you now, believe me. It seems a thing that still hurts you badly,
doesn't it?

I can't blame you.

I know what's being rejected means, and I know how difficult is to forget about it.

But we can change things, believe me.

>
> > I can imagine what's it but I don`t know exactly what cheesey
> > is.
>
> very garish and overdone, but in a sappy kind of way.

ohm, you have written "cheesey" in a very positif way indeed.

>
> > hehehe...
>
> > Oh, I don't know him - but I'll try to do it!
>
> > A friend of mine told me exactly this today, and that this is
> > the easier way to install
> > Lynux. But in fact it's possible to share your HD, but Lynux
> > people made it so difficult
> > that it seems impossible. I think they don`'t want anybody with
> > another system outside
> > Lynux. They are the new Bill Gates, you know. :)
>
> That's the way they all are.

I begin to believe in it.

>
> > it was a good experience to me as I'm seeing it's not worth to
> > say things in portuguese
> > hoping that you won't understand it! :)
>
> don't get me wrong. if you do say many things in portugeuse, I won't
> understand. The little squiggly marks throw me off.

ok, but I have to take care anyway... :)

>
> > It's a very popular meat from South of Brazil. People make put
> > lots of meat (T-bone, I
> > think) under fire made of charcoal. The meat is tempered
> > normally with some sea salt (I
> > don't know if it's called like that).
>
> yes, we have it at the grocery store.
>
> > It's wonderful.
>
> i'll never know, but i'll take your word for it.

oh yeah, I am a Morrissey fan and I even was a vegetarian when I was 14 (!) but oh the
"churrasco" is really something.

>
> > Well, Brazilian eats lots of meat (not the very poor obviously).
> > People from Europe or
> > Japan are usually astonished when they see it here.
>
> and you may be astonished going to Las Vegas where everything is served with
> t-bone steak. It's insane.

I think I would love it...

People from Europe and Japan use to say the quantity we serve of meat is insane too.

>
> > you explainde perfectly what I feel...
>
> > ...well, fortunately there are some cute students to see, you
> > see? :)
>
> > oh, it's wonderful to walk. When I stopped to do it I saw how
> > much I missed it.
>
> > this hiatus is because of the Christmas parties?
>
> yes. everyone going home for the holidays.

Do you like these end of year parties? I am crazy about them.

It's true that when you become an adult all these parties are more stressing. But I like
them all the same.

>
> > I had a boss like this - he always complained of working to
> > much, but the only thing he
> > really did was
> > bother others...
>
> i talked to the supervisor of our department today. Not really talked, but
> from what he asked me, I got the idea that he has no idea that I'm covering
> that second desk.

you said something about covering another one's mistakes - are you referring to this?

> Meaning someone else has been saying, "oh, I have to put ALL
> these formats in" and then turning around and asking me to do it.

as you are saying it seems they really need you don`t they?

>
> > Ok, he did it a lot. If you call this a work, he worked too much
> > :)
>
> > well, as you have told me probably this other girl out of
> > popularity is the one to be
> > puped of, isn't she?
>
> what?

I think the girl out of popularity is the one who is "pumped of" before being ripped of.

my daughter seems to be relaxing now... it's 2:31am now... :)
>

>
> > a sort of hidden racism, isn't it? as you said black people have
> > to be helped to be
> > somebody.
>
> yes.

but I can't blame these white ones totally. There are so few black people in Curitiba,
and normally they are very poor, and there are so many racism "hidden" in Brazil that if
I see some black people I try to be much more gentle to them than I am normally with
white ones (as though I was a guy full of sympathy, but it seems I am not too much with
people that are not my friends). Is this some kind of racism too?

>
> > To carry watermelons from the neck to receive attention from
> > others? oh we have exactly
> > this expression!
>
> no, i dont' think we mean the same thing.
>
> What I mean is a stereotype that all black people sit around and do nothing
> but eat watermelon and chitlins.

oh yeah - it's a completely different meaning indeed. The watermelons made me think
wrong things indeed.

>
> There was a movie in the 70's called Watermelon Man. It played off of that.
> The movie was about some middle-bread white guy who wakes up one morning and
> finds he is black.

and then he begins to do nothing?

there's a film I heard about where John Travolta is a white in a country where blacks
are dominators - it seems interesting.

>
> > I understand you - I hate scanning things. It's so boring...
>
> > Oh, i hope you are better now.
>
> > ok, but he's not blond! :)
>
> bleach blond doesn't do it for me either...

hehe... At least I'm not blond... :)

>
> > well, now you are messing me... :)
>
> > well, the original phrase follows:
>
> > "
> > I have to thank Melody Maker for introducing me to that
> > phrase....
>
> > it's a euphemism, and no, you can't see them in the pic. I just
> > thought it was
> > an odd thing to break off the (let's use Monty Python for this)
> > naughty bits
> > on a tombstone
> > "
>
> > heheh, the thing became funny.
>
> > I don't know why but I'm laughing now.
>
> You should be! It was meant to be funny.

Oh really? I didn`t think so. :) And I thought it funny!

>
> > perhaps he like opposite things puting together.
>
> > The sequence of songs before his recent shows for example.
>
> Hmmm...I don't think anyone is going to break his arm if he changes it. It's
> customary. Sort of like "welcome to my turf"

ok, but I'm glad Morrissey seems to have a so eccentric musical taste as mine. :)

>
> > Hey, I understand him! :)
>
> > bono seems to like him, isn't he?
>
> I suppose. Do they hang out? who knows!

Hang out? I have never heard about it.

>
> > so do you think that just social relations are important to
> > create a personality?
>
> > I don't agree with you - we have some biological desires (as sex
> > for example), and they make part of our personality too. I don't
> > know which percentage social and biological aspects have in our
> > personality but I'm sure both are present.
>
> Oh, I'm not denying that we have the components to feel these things because
> obviously if we didn't have that part of our brain, we wouldn't be able to
> feel anything.
>
> What I mean is the meaning attached to what we do.
>
> For example, they did this study where they took a baby and dressed it in
> blue. They would wait for it to start crying and then leave it out for
> unsuspecting people to deal with. They would approach this assumably male baby
> and ask "oh, who made him angry?"
>
> When they took the same baby and dressed it in pink, people began asking, "oh,
> who scared her?"
>
> As you can obviously see, the baby was crying for the exact same reason when
> it was dressed in blue that it was dressed in pink. The reality hadn't
> changed. The only thing that changed was what people thought about the baby's
> cries.
>
> Dont' you see how powerful this is? The male child is being consoled in his
> anger, while the female is being consoled in her fright and inability to take
> care of herself.

interesting indeed - I didn't know about this experience. I think you are correct in the
most important part.
>
> And you do realize that one year olds of any gender are equally incapable of
> defending themselves should a pack of wild dogs descend upon them?

ok, but there's no doubt women are generally weaker physically spaking than men. This is
a biological reason to some social traditions. Well, great part of social behaviours are
based on biological reasons: for example women is normally more faithful than men - of
course she had to carry the baby inside her during nine months and not the men, so she
had to pay more attention to fidelity.

>
> Anyway, as they grow up, they already have ingrained in them the ideas of what
> people find acceptable behavior.

yeah, I have basically to agree with you, but there's no doubt our biology is always
waiting to appear even if social convenances try to hide them.

>
> > You see, it makes sense the point some biologists say that if a
> > girl wants a cute guy, she wants her children cute too. But how
> > important is this biological side I really don't know.
>
> Biologists are freaks. I'm sorry. If you read any science literature through
> the ages, you notice it is full of very arcane interpretations about women and
> men. Just because it's the year 2000 doesn't mean they are any smarter than
> the year 1750. They are chauvinists who don't really get their heads out of
> their textbooks long enough to open their eyes and see what is really
> happening out there. Most of them are part of the idiot-bourgeois class, and
> the reason they got their degrees is because they know how to mix chemicals in
> a test tube for their big project.

Well, as a religious guy I really can't agree with most things biologists think. The neo
darrwinists who say everything is biology should work with humour and not with science.

So I liked what you wrote.

>
> When i see a hot looking dude, I'm not thinking, "oh, I'll have cute
> children!" That's plain retarded.



> It's just like guys looking at girls. We
> realize that we're going to have to stare at this guy for the next few years
> and forgive us for wanting something that doesn't look like Sam Donaldson. I
> don't spend all my hours dreaming of neat ways I can procreate cute little
> babies.

ok, ok... but all scientists say this process is completely inconscient - it may have
even some social reasons to it (the experience of various generations can make people
think this way). What do you think about this possibility?
>
> And as I was saying about meaning, when a guy sees a beautiful girl, do they
> think about what cute babies they are going to have? No, you would think that
> was dumb and so would the scientists.

Now, the guy certainly don`t think about babies, but perhaps his instinct does.

>
> And furthermore, tell me something: if your daughter came up to you and asked
> for a toy truck, would you let her have it? would you steer her back to her
> dolls?

Well I have already given a big truck to her and she really liked id - but she prefer
dolls.

I try to be a father in a rather easy way...

and the poor child finally slept (it's 3:02 now)! I'll have a big job put my computer in
the computer room again...

... and then I am in the computer room again, after having to deal with some problems...

> > oh I read it on the bus and I really enjoyed it. For example,
> > the driver of Moz stuff was great! And all the story was really
> > amazing.
>
> strange how I started going in one direction and then that started popping
> in...like an extension of my first story.

well, I didn't perceive the relation between both - I'll have to see it again.
>
> > But the first one, you see? I saw some coincidences there, and I
> > don't know how to ask about them...
>
> go ahead. I can't remember since the vast majority of that was written months
> ago.

well, there was a guy with a german name ("Not recently German, but his family was,", just like me) and talking about a girl that came to see him and suddenly came back to her city ("She's not tired. She wants an excuse to leave." (...) "She figured out you weren't single.") Almost like the dream I had about you.

Well, there were some coincidences in it.

>
> > but not that much, you see? :)
>
> > I have this problem too - I have a, I don't know how to say it
> > in English, skin under my tongue bigger than the normal that
> > makes my pronouncing funny. In portuguese we called it
> > língua-presa (bounded-tongue ??)
>
> never heard of it or the condition...

oh certainly you had - I didn't explain well for sure. I have to ask a doctor who knows english to explain you.
>
> > I understand, and I am a little bit like that.
>
> > well, I can speak french but I studied it during 10 years....
> > :)
>
> i would hope.
>
> > yes, you are correct. I thought about it already.
>
> > I would like to take an accoustic guitar (I played it a little
> > bit) and sing an old blues song. Just for me.
>
> i have an acoustic, but it sits and gathers dust.

I HAD an accoustic

>
> > And I should speak better german to try to make bad things with
> > Schubert! :)
>
> that might be frightening.

hehehe... why? :)

>
> > Anyway, I can sing some kitsch Brazilian songs - it's funny,
> > it's easy and you don't even use an instrument!
>
> > I'll try to :)
>
> > and as for morrissey? I carry his songs as if they made part of
> > me.
>
> i know they are made out of a part of me!
>
> he's a crazy little guy, but I swear when I read his bio, I felt like I was
> reading a lot of myself. Not in that music sense of I'm a depressed
> loner/outsider, but something in the thought process of getting from A to B.
> The same tendencies to duck out of things and be just overall slackers.

I think I don`t have these tendencies but when I see Morrissey it is just like I knew what he is thinking. He has a way of looking that I think is similar to mine.

Oh I hope so. :)

And my cutting hair is almost similar to his. But I don`t have a forelock - it would be ridiculous.

>
> > I thought about it all the time during my "Lynux
> > adventure"... it almost makes part of me already.
>
> The Lynux Blues with Schubert countermelodies....

hehehe... I am obsessive with things, am not I?

and sorry if this message was too strange...:)
 
Re: movie star

> hello Suzanne,

> well, the sitiuation is a little bit surrealistic now: I'm
> hearing some modern Christmas
> songs from a cd I bought to my daughter. She is in side of me,
> dancing... An aunt of my
> wife is here too, but she doesn't understand english, so I can
> write without further
> preoccupations :)

Fabricio, this is really bad.

> but it was a good experience even with all this, wasn't it? I
> think it's a price we have
> to pay sometimes.

> hehe...

> Being sick was a somewhat good experience during my childhood,
> because my mother always
> said to me to not go to school when I had even weak flus... and
> I've always wanted
> having a little bit sick to not go to work - but when I'm sick
> this way, I stay in bed
> all day long what is a rather good experience.

> "Jesus Jesus you spoke and nobody heard" is what I'm
> hearing now (in portuguese), in the
> cd I bought to my daughter...

> oh, I hate cold days, and I think I said it to you...:)

> the weather here is very hot today, but it's raining weakly
> since the hours, what
> refreshes the weather. So it's Curitiba is a good place to be
> stay right now.

> hehe, normally we stay together in the dining room where's
> there's no computer... but
> right now she is with me in the computer room and she wants to
> see a cd-rom with me...
> i'll have to return after it...

> ... hey, it's 1:23 am and my daughter doesn`t want to sleep at
> all. She is alone at the
> dining room, and this worrying me...

> Well, I always have weird craving for buying cds!

> And this blur one is good? it seems to.

> As for what I'm listening now, I'm hearing the soap opera made
> children called
> "Chiquititas"... :)

> well, more minutes passed sind and hey, I don't believe what I
> did! I brought my
> computer to the dining room to be in side of my daughter!

> I can't really believe... :)

> oh no...

> this is exactly the idea I have about it.

> hehe... I would like it too. I like doing intense things.

> It's common seeing in american movies how bad are these
> "popular" kids in general.
> That's why I like Dawson's Creek so much - as me the principal
> characters aren't
> "popular" ones but they simply don't care about the
> "popular". They have their own
> group. It's a kind of relief to the normal people, because in
> Dawson's Creek the
> "non-popular" have self esteem in general. We should
> unite and take over, you know? :)

> So there was more than a person that liked your job? And they
> people laughed because
> they liked you or not?

> I really felt for you now, believe me. It seems a thing that
> still hurts you badly,
> doesn't it?

> I can't blame you.

> I know what's being rejected means, and I know how difficult is
> to forget about it.

> But we can change things, believe me.

> ohm, you have written "cheesey" in a very positif way
> indeed.

> I begin to believe in it.

> ok, but I have to take care anyway... :)

> oh yeah, I am a Morrissey fan and I even was a vegetarian when I
> was 14 (!) but oh the
> "churrasco" is really something.

> I think I would love it...

> People from Europe and Japan use to say the quantity we serve of
> meat is insane too.

> Do you like these end of year parties? I am crazy about them.

> It's true that when you become an adult all these parties are
> more stressing. But I like
> them all the same.

> you said something about covering another one's mistakes - are
> you referring to this?

> as you are saying it seems they really need you don`t they?

> I think the girl out of popularity is the one who is
> "pumped of" before being ripped of.

> my daughter seems to be relaxing now... it's 2:31am now... :)

> but I can't blame these white ones totally. There are so few
> black people in Curitiba,
> and normally they are very poor, and there are so many racism
> "hidden" in Brazil that if
> I see some black people I try to be much more gentle to them
> than I am normally with
> white ones (as though I was a guy full of sympathy, but it seems
> I am not too much with
> people that are not my friends). Is this some kind of racism
> too?

> oh yeah - it's a completely different meaning indeed. The
> watermelons made me think
> wrong things indeed.

> and then he begins to do nothing?

> there's a film I heard about where John Travolta is a white in a
> country where blacks
> are dominators - it seems interesting.

> hehe... At least I'm not blond... :)

> Oh really? I didn`t think so. :) And I thought it funny!

> ok, but I'm glad Morrissey seems to have a so eccentric musical
> taste as mine. :)

> Hang out? I have never heard about it.

> interesting indeed - I didn't know about this experience. I
> think you are correct in the
> most important part.

> ok, but there's no doubt women are generally weaker physically
> spaking than men. This is
> a biological reason to some social traditions. Well, great part
> of social behaviours are
> based on biological reasons: for example women is normally more
> faithful than men - of
> course she had to carry the baby inside her during nine months
> and not the men, so she
> had to pay more attention to fidelity.

> yeah, I have basically to agree with you, but there's no doubt
> our biology is always
> waiting to appear even if social convenances try to hide them.

> Well, as a religious guy I really can't agree with most things
> biologists think. The neo
> darrwinists who say everything is biology should work with
> humour and not with science.

> So I liked what you wrote.

>

> ok, ok... but all scientists say this process is completely
> inconscient - it may have
> even some social reasons to it (the experience of various
> generations can make people
> think this way). What do you think about this possibility?

> Now, the guy certainly don`t think about babies, but perhaps his
> instinct does.

> Well I have already given a big truck to her and she really
> liked id - but she prefer
> dolls.

> I try to be a father in a rather easy way...

> and the poor child finally slept (it's 3:02 now)! I'll have a
> big job put my computer in
> the computer room again...

> ... and then I am in the computer room again, after having to
> deal with some problems...

> well, I didn't perceive the relation between both - I'll have to
> see it again.

> well, there was a guy with a german name ("Not recently
> German, but his family was,", just like me) and talking
> about a girl that came to see him and suddenly came back to her
> city ("She's not tired. She wants an excuse to leave."
> (...) "She figured out you weren't single.") Almost
> like the dream I had about you.

> Well, there were some coincidences in it.

And based on completely different people, I assure you.

She's so @#!!!ing surrealist herself. She chases after anything, but she was also crying last night because this guy she's had a crush on for eons is not returning it.

I wish I could tell her to stop, but I have no room to talk. I wish her friends would quit taking her side in saying he's a bastard in leading her on, but he's not. I understand where he's coming from as well. She's fun as a friend the actual question has never been presented, so it's easier to ignore it. I've been on both sides. I know what it's like to wake up after years of liking someone and realizing that nothing will happen. I did it yesterday. The knowledge of what you had sacrificed to make them happy thinking it would make a difference and then seeing that they don't care that much or they would have tried a little harder to take you up on it and those other fleeting opportunities to have something better for yourself are all gone.

Some feminist! You say, but I thought what i was doing at the time was the opportunity to have more in all aspects because I thought that maybe they were the encouragement I needed. God knows I don't get much of it from anyone. Living in some rathole in San Angelo by yourself implies that you've completely screwed up and you need help. The path you have chosen for yourself is wrong. Your friends and family don't give a @#!!! one way or the other, and so here is this person who cares telling you that you can be more than what you are. It's a great plan of winning the prize and getting the guy in the end, and so, you try, and then you realize that they were completely wrong. And then, what's worse is that they themselves completely disappear without an apology one way or the other. and then you feel very silly because you wasted so much of your energy waiting. then, you come back from a long drive in California with a head clearing trip and realize that any blame you felt landing on yourself was completely wrong. If they wanted it as bad as they said they did, they would have opened a crack because you've already tried everything you know how on your end.

you know, words are words. You can profess something all you want, but we all know what lies underneath.

> oh certainly you had - I didn't explain well for sure. I have to
> ask a doctor who knows english to explain you.

> I HAD an accoustic

> hehehe... why? :)

> I think I don`t have these tendencies but when I see Morrissey
> it is just like I knew what he is thinking. He has a way of
> looking that I think is similar to mine.

> Oh I hope so. :)

> And my cutting hair is almost similar to his. But I don`t have a
> forelock - it would be ridiculous.

> hehehe... I am obsessive with things, am not I?

> and sorry if this message was too strange...:)
 
Re: and i look like "tin tin"... will you kick my ass?

I'm always
> looking to the stars baby, yeah!
but you are not that type of romantic girl, are you? don't say that you are. stop looking to the stars, "carnie", or you're gonna need some glasses.

> besides, hadn't you been reading? I look like Carnie Wilson.
i don't remember that part. hey, so you are soooo charming. if you are lieng to me, i will demand a picture.

> hmm. I don't know that feeling. What does it feel like having
> someone who was once a complete stranger on the street living in
> your house and following you around with a miniature human that
> looks somewhat like you?
bad, bad girl. it's not like that... maybe almost. yeah... it can be so boring sometimes, especially when you realize you didn't do the right thing. i love the kid, but his mother can be a little irritateing sometimes. ...the love is over. suzy...can i call you suzy? well, baby, the lesson here is: never get a husband !!! call the guys for a dinner, but say NO, when they start to talk about a family and blah blah blah. love is too fragile, and soon you will be alone. now, sing "jingle bell rock"... please !!!
 
Re: movie star

> > well, the sitiuation is a little bit surrealistic now: I'm
> > hearing some modern Christmas
> > songs from a cd I bought to my daughter. She is in side of me,
> > dancing... An aunt of my
> > wife is here too, but she doesn't understand english, so I can
> > write without further
> > preoccupations :)
>
> Fabricio, this is really bad.

why?

Are saying this seriously? I don't see anything bad in it.

Well, I can't blame you really. I had a so terribly boring Sunday. I woke up 3pm with a
terrible headache. I took tons of Tylenols all day long and I got is passing the pain in
my head to mey shoulders.

Oh, I spent too much money on Christmas gifts yesterday.I didn't went out of my house.
My daughter was irritated. My wife asked for some good japanese food that I ate a lot,
but I'm still hungry. I don't want to be fat again, this is my problem. And it's unfair
the cold and windy day we had today! It's December, I
think we deserve a better weather!

And I simply can't have a decent Internet conexion now - I am offline.

> > well, there was a guy with a german name ("Not recently
> > German, but his family was,", just like me) and talking
> > about a girl that came to see him and suddenly came back to her
> > city ("She's not tired. She wants an excuse to leave."
> > (...) "She figured out you weren't single.") Almost
> > like the dream I had about you.
>
> > Well, there were some coincidences in it.
>
> And based on completely different people, I assure you.

Oh I believe you.

>
> She's so @#!!!ing surrealist herself.

who? the girl who wants to go back home in your story?

> She chases after anything, but she was
> also crying last night because this guy she's had a crush on for eons is not
> returning it.

there are lots of girls like that, this is not surrealism.

well, the girl I loved the most when I was a teenager was exactly like that. But not
with me, just with one of my best friends - and she was my best friend... She respected
me and I know she might give up him if I invented some bad things against him... but I
didn't do it.

You see? I am proud of it, even having suffered too much for my taste.

>
> I wish I could tell her to stop, but I have no room to talk. I wish her
> friends would quit taking her side in saying he's a bastard in leading her on,
> but he's not. I understand where he's coming from as well. She's fun as a
> friend the actual question has never been presented, so it's easier to ignore
> it. I've been on both sides.

Most people have been.

> I know what it's like to wake up after years of
> liking someone and realizing that nothing will happen. I did it yesterday.

I thought you are talking about a friend of yours, but now I think you are talking about ...you?

well, I confess I am confused. I don't know who is having the problem with a guy.

> The
> knowledge of what you had sacrificed to make them happy thinking it would make
> a difference and then seeing that they don't care that much or they would have
> tried a little harder to take you up on it and those other fleeting
> opportunities to have something better for yourself are all gone.

this is really sad, but I think if you did the correct things at least you have nothing to repent.

>
> Some feminist! You say, but I thought what i was doing at the time was the
> opportunity to have more in all aspects because I thought that maybe they were
> the encouragement I needed.

oh, I think now is your friend who had problems with a guy...

so I really think if you wanted to help them you must be at ease happen what happens. If I help somebody and if this somebody doesn't like it or doesn`t use it oh, what can I do? Nothing! I have to have peace in mind because I did something.

> God knows I don't get much of it from anyone.

I would like to do everything it's possible to you. I know it's surrealistic, but I don't know physically my best friend. I believe in these kind of things.

> Living in some rathole in San Angelo by yourself implies that you've
> completely screwed up and you need help. The path you have chosen for yourself
> is wrong. Your friends and family don't give a @#!!! one way or the other, and
> so here is this person who cares telling you that you can be more than what
> you are.

this "person who cares" is you isn't it?

I must tire you with my lack of knowledge, I know...

> It's a great plan of winning the prize and getting the guy in the
> end, and so, you try, and then you realize that they were completely wrong.

well, all plans similar I ever had failed so...

> And then, what's worse is that they themselves completely disappear without an
> apology one way or the other. and then you feel very silly because you wasted
> so much of your energy waiting.

I understand, and you perhaps will disagree with me, but there's a good sensation after doing good things, even if people dislike it.

Suzanne, I think you did the correct thing. It's good to help others. It's good to our souls.

> then, you come back from a long drive in
> California with a head clearing trip

It was you who went to California?

> and realize that any blame you felt
> landing on yourself was completely wrong.

oh great! It was that I was saying. If they didn't see anything good in what you did is because they are tooo selfish and you don't need to waste more your time with them.

> If they wanted it as bad as they
> said they did, they would have opened a crack because you've already tried
> everything you know how on your end.

yes, nobody have a relationship without wanting it. It seems they are too self concentrated to pay attention in what happens around them - as your help or their opportunities. They simply can't look outside as it seems.

>
> you know, words are words. You can profess something all you want, but we all
> know what lies underneath.
>

this is why I love so much a film called Tokio Story, from Yasugiro Ozu. Tells the story of two brothers (a male and a female) who lives in Tokio and who receives the visit their parents who lives in a farmer. They simply don't pay attention to their parents, but at the surface everything is ok... and the parents almost don't say a word about the lack of attention from their children. Almost everything in this film lies underneath. Oh it's a so human film, and it's really considered one of the best ones ever!

Oh I am in a better mood now. I got some tea, and these Haendel arias are marvelous.

Good night.

I have to wake up early tomorrow but I feel everything will be better.

For you too.

Why not?
 
Re: and i look like "tin tin"... will you kick my ass?

> I'm always
> but you are not that type of romantic girl, are you? don't say
> that you are. stop looking to the stars, "carnie", or
> you're gonna need some glasses.

i gave up on that a long time ago.

it is amazing how much my idea of what love should be like has changed over the years. i did believe in the concept of love at first sight at one point. it looked very easy as you hear one story after another of people being able to connect and expect something based on the trust of the basic goodness of humanity. Now, I want DNA samples.

> i don't remember that part. hey, so you are soooo charming. if
> you are lieng to me, i will demand a picture.

dude, i know you're angle....

"hey, maybe she's cute and i too can have my own internet toy."

> bad, bad girl. it's not like that... maybe almost. yeah... it
> can be so boring sometimes, especially when you realize you
> didn't do the right thing. i love the kid, but his mother can be
> a little irritateing sometimes. ...the love is over.

*sigh*

why do they bother inventing birth control if nobody uses it?

i mean, sure I guess you love your kid, but wouldn't you rather have one with someone you really cared about? it makes your day more enjoyable.

there is always this window where everything seems right with the world, and then suddenly, someone wakes up and sees who they are stuck with.

but this is...whatever decade you would call this...and you do have the option of leaving. this is not like the 1950's where it was shameful to be divorced and leave the family.

>suzy...can
> i call you suzy? well, baby, the lesson here is: never get a
> husband !!! call the guys for a dinner, but say NO, when they
> start to talk about a family and blah blah blah. love is too
> fragile, and soon you will be alone. now, sing "jingle bell
> rock"... please !!!

Yeah, some guy was trying to do some masterful moves last night in trying to demand a date out of me. Luckily, a friend of his happened to be filming the party last night which let him see what he was acting like and he thus fired off an email of apology today.

may explain my level of crankiness today.

the results of the past 13 years of dating eligibility have left someone who is just incredibly set in their ways. i do remember going out with almost anyone who asked because that list was very tiny and you take what you can get...I still remember my mom asking some of my sister's guy friends why this one ugly and annoying girl who was the butt of jokes was getting asked to a dance and I wasn't.... but i've almost stopped that. there was indeed a span of about 5 years where I automatically blew off any guy who came within a ten mile radius. it does take an act of congress for me to move on anything, and i did try...again...but we see where that went. that happens when you are nothing but rust and dust and the other person doesn't understand and thinks you are being mean.
 
Re: movie star

> why?

> Are saying this seriously? I don't see anything bad in it.

that you are happy that people can't read what you are writing? It obviously implies guilt on your behalf. Like you know you are doing something wrong.

> Well, I can't blame you really. I had a so terribly boring
> Sunday. I woke up 3pm with a
> terrible headache. I took tons of Tylenols all day long and I
> got is passing the pain in
> my head to mey shoulders.

sounds like a migraine.

i'm way behind scheduled activities on everything. if things went as i had them mentally planned, yesterday would have been baking spree for x-mas party at work, minor christmas shopping, and a party.

i did manage the party, but none of the rest of it. i tried. i procrastinated, then someone unexpectedly called wanting to go out for supper, and the traffic was horrible and took me eons longer to get to one place than it should have, blah blah blah....

then, this video I had rented on friday had to be in today so i woke up early to watch it before Kendo because I was tired on friday and didn't watch it that evening as I planned, and then birthday stuff afterwards.

i need to take my phone off the hook. i need to have my computer taken away from me. i need a weekday off so i can have the malls with 1/4 the amount of people.

i have no discipline in anything. i need bootcamp.

> Oh, I spent too much money on Christmas gifts yesterday.I didn't
> went out of my house.
> My daughter was irritated. My wife asked for some good japanese
> food that I ate a lot,
> but I'm still hungry. I don't want to be fat again, this is my
> problem. And it's unfair
> the cold and windy day we had today! It's December, I
> think we deserve a better weather!

that's normal here right now!

as far as weight, i know you are busy, but i think you should try and squeeze in some form of exercise. worrying about what you eat causes you to fixate on nothing but food.

> And I simply can't have a decent Internet conexion now - I am
> offline.

> Oh I believe you.

> who? the girl who wants to go back home in your story?

yes. the other guy Glen, well, he is a few people...

> there are lots of girls like that, this is not surrealism.

> well, the girl I loved the most when I was a teenager was
> exactly like that. But not
> with me, just with one of my best friends - and she was my best
> friend... She respected
> me and I know she might give up him if I invented some bad
> things against him... but I
> didn't do it.

i'm sure you thought about it, but would you really be proud of yourself?

> You see? I am proud of it, even having suffered too much for my
> taste.

> Most people have been.

> I thought you are talking about a friend of yours, but now I
> think you are talking about ...you?

yes. i think i'm just in need of a lie-down.

> well, I confess I am confused. I don't know who is having the
> problem with a guy.

that would be me.

> this is really sad, but I think if you did the correct things at
> least you have nothing to repent.

> oh, I think now is your friend who had problems with a guy...

she does. she will.

people think that all she has to do is leave town and he will disappear from her mind. that's not the case at all. it will follow her around. she doesn't have to see him at all the way things are, but she goes out of her way.

many people see him as being the bad guy, but truthfully, anytime he does return a phonecall which is less often not, she blows it out of proportion and makes it sound like maybe he is interested. this in turn makes her friends believe he is actually leading her on.

> so I really think if you wanted to help them you must be at ease
> happen what happens. If I help somebody and if this somebody
> doesn't like it or doesn`t use it oh, what can I do? Nothing! I
> have to have peace in mind because I did something.

i'm in no position to help her. trust me.

> I would like to do everything it's possible to you. I know it's
> surrealistic, but I don't know physically my best friend. I
> believe in these kind of things.

> this "person who cares" is you isn't it?

> I must tire you with my lack of knowledge, I know...

> well, all plans similar I ever had failed so...

> I understand, and you perhaps will disagree with me, but there's
> a good sensation after doing good things, even if people dislike
> it.

> Suzanne, I think you did the correct thing. It's good to help
> others. It's good to our souls.

> It was you who went to California?

metaphorically speaking

> oh great! It was that I was saying. If they didn't see anything
> good in what you did is because they are tooo selfish and you
> don't need to waste more your time with them.

but you would understand why I did it.

I know I'm sounding a bit harsh and incredibly self centered about it. of course, it's not strictly about me and what he can do for me.

this is the sort of guy that you want every inch of. there is nothing about him that is a wasted trait, and any sort of personality flaw only underscored the charm of his humanity. you never wanted him to be the ideal man because you wanted to spend your time finding out the areas perfection never had to hide. he is the sort that you would think of as a guilty pleasure, but it would awash you in it's intimacy that you never thought about coming back again and again for more. and he has these wonderfully deep eyes that express both intelligence and emotion.

> yes, nobody have a relationship without wanting it. It seems
> they are too self concentrated to pay attention in what happens
> around them - as your help or their opportunities. They simply
> can't look outside as it seems.

> this is why I love so much a film called Tokio Story, from
> Yasugiro Ozu. Tells the story of two brothers (a male and a
> female) who lives in Tokio and who receives the visit their
> parents who lives in a farmer. They simply don't pay attention
> to their parents, but at the surface everything is ok... and the
> parents almost don't say a word about the lack of attention from
> their children. Almost everything in this film lies underneath.
> Oh it's a so human film, and it's really considered one of the
> best ones ever!

> Oh I am in a better mood now. I got some tea, and these Haendel
> arias are marvelous.

> Good night.

> I have to wake up early tomorrow but I feel everything will be
> better.

> For you too.

> Why not?
 
mis-pronunciations

as a footnote, i indeed found out that i was not being paranoid when i said my speech was a bit off. i found out tonight from my mom that when I was growing up, i had all sorts of mispronunciations as my daily talk. for example, i would pronounce the word "soap" as "sop".

which of course, her mother said, "must be the German in her!" which makes no sense as she was neither german nor knew anything about germans, but you have to love grandma anyway.
 
Re: movie star

>
hello Suzanne!

well, I am really late at night. My daughter now uses to sleep during the day to be with me during the night... but it doesn't matter really. It's 4:08am and it's really a pelasure to talk with you.

I am hearing Schubert now and these are the first moments in peace I have this day. :)

well, as a footnote, I have to say I installed my Linux! Well, I don't know yet how to work with it because it seems really difficult, but I now I'm having a good internet assistance and I hope to access in internet from it... one day...:)

> > why?
>
> > Are saying this seriously? I don't see anything bad in it.
>
> that you are happy that people can't read what you are writing? It obviously
> implies guilt on your behalf. Like you know you are doing something wrong.

this is a strange and perhaps important side of me Suzanne, because even people who worked with me didn't knew I was so crazy about Morrissey when he came to my city. Then I had the opportunity to write about him in the local newspaper and everybody was surprised by my knowledge of Morrissey. Even my mother didn't know I was such a fan.

And I don't think it's wrong to be such a Morrissey fan. I simply don't like to share important things with those are not my real friends. And I don't have too many real fans, as you see in Now my heart is full :)

>
> > Well, I can't blame you really. I had a so terribly boring
> > Sunday. I woke up 3pm with a
> > terrible headache. I took tons of Tylenols all day long and I
> > got is passing the pain in
> > my head to mey shoulders.
>
> sounds like a migraine.

I don't know how but I use to have these migraines in weekends. It seems my tension I repressed during the week comes to my head and causes pain in it. I don't know why but I have it.

And I have teeth pain today. I hope I'll be better tomorrow.

>
> i'm way behind scheduled activities on everything. if things went as i had
> them mentally planned, yesterday would have been baking spree for x-mas party
> at work, minor christmas shopping, and a party.
>
> i did manage the party, but none of the rest of it. i tried. i procrastinated,
> then someone unexpectedly called wanting to go out for supper, and the traffic
> was horrible and took me eons longer to get to one place than it should have,
> blah blah blah....

I understand you as I had the same problem today. My father invited me to dinner, and my daughter was expecting me... I think this period of the year is a little bit crazy, isn't it?

And if I sum my classes... :)

>
> then, this video I had rented on friday had to be in today so i woke up early
> to watch it before Kendo because I was tired on friday and didn't watch it
> that evening as I planned, and then birthday stuff afterwards.

was the film good at least?

sometimes I make plans to do things I do at night in the mornings. But I seldom put this in practice... :)
>
> i need to take my phone off the hook.
> i need to have my computer taken away
> from me. i need a weekday off so i can have the malls with 1/4 the amount of
> people.

I understand but you don't need to put your computer away from you!

>
> i have no discipline in anything. i need bootcamp.

what bootcamp means?

well, I think I do have discipline but this discipline is driving me crazy...

>
> > Oh, I spent too much money on Christmas gifts yesterday.I didn't
> > went out of my house.
> > My daughter was irritated. My wife asked for some good japanese
> > food that I ate a lot,
> > but I'm still hungry. I don't want to be fat again, this is my
> > problem. And it's unfair
> > the cold and windy day we had today! It's December, I
> > think we deserve a better weather!
>
> that's normal here right now!

it seems the cold is strong in USA, isn't it?

at least today the weather was much better. I like these hot days.

nothing to do with but I am remembering how expensive was the gift I bought to my daughter.

well, perhaps the thought of the gift came because it was very hot at the supermarket where I bought her electric motocycle...

>
> as far as weight, i know you are busy, but i think you should try and squeeze
> in some form of exercise. worrying about what you eat causes you to fixate on
> nothing but food.

yes, I know it and this makes things still more dangerous to me :)

well, I had a good supper with my father today and I'm not feeling guilty. Perhaps I needed at least one day to eat more than I use to and with no guilty.

Well, perhaps I really have to make more exercises than just walking to the bus stations.

>
> > And I simply can't have a decent Internet conexion now - I am
> > offline.
>
> > Oh I believe you.
>
> > who? the girl who wants to go back home in your story?
>
> yes. the other guy Glen, well, he is a few people...

I saw it... I was just a little bit jealous... :)

but please talk me about him - you wrote such marvelous words.

>
> > there are lots of girls like that, this is not surrealism.
>
> > well, the girl I loved the most when I was a teenager was
> > exactly like that. But not
> > with me, just with one of my best friends - and she was my best
> > friend... She respected
> > me and I know she might give up him if I invented some bad
> > things against him... but I
> > didn't do it.
>
> i'm sure you thought about it, but would you really be proud of yourself?

In that time I thought exactly this: that I wouldn't be proud of myself if I did it.

>
> > You see? I am proud of it, even having suffered too much for my
> > taste.
>
> > Most people have been.
>
> > I thought you are talking about a friend of yours, but now I
> > think you are talking about ...you?
>
> yes. i think i'm just in need of a lie-down.

as I have seen, you and your friend like the same guy?

>
> > well, I confess I am confused. I don't know who is having the
> > problem with a guy.
>
> that would be me.

and your friend...?

>
> > this is really sad, but I think if you did the correct things at
> > least you have nothing to repent.
>
> > oh, I think now is your friend who had problems with a guy...
>
> she does. she will.
>
> people think that all she has to do is leave town and he will disappear from
> her mind. that's not the case at all. it will follow her around. she doesn't
> have to see him at all the way things are, but she goes out of her way.

how she goes out of her way?

and I think you are correct. Escaping is not always the best solution. Our problems usually come with us.

>
> many people see him as being the bad guy, but truthfully, anytime he does
> return a phonecall which is less often not, she blows it out of proportion and
> makes it sound like maybe he is interested. this in turn makes her friends
> believe he is actually leading her on.

well, if you are sure he is a good guy he probably doesn't have interest in being bad with her. Perhaps he really loves her... and some loves are different from the physic usual love.

But not necessarily less intense.

>
> > so I really think if you wanted to help them you must be at ease
> > happen what happens. If I help somebody and if this somebody
> > doesn't like it or doesn`t use it oh, what can I do? Nothing! I
> > have to have peace in mind because I did something.
>
> i'm in no position to help her. trust me.

but didn't you even try to?
>
> > I would like to do everything it's possible to you. I know it's
> > surrealistic, but I don't know physically my best friend. I
> > believe in these kind of things.
>
> > this "person who cares" is you isn't it?
>
> > I must tire you with my lack of knowledge, I know...
>
> > well, all plans similar I ever had failed so...
>
> > I understand, and you perhaps will disagree with me, but there's
> > a good sensation after doing good things, even if people dislike
> > it.
>
> > Suzanne, I think you did the correct thing. It's good to help
> > others. It's good to our souls.
>
> > It was you who went to California?
>
> metaphorically speaking

it means you thought a lot about the subject?

>
> > oh great! It was that I was saying. If they didn't see anything
> > good in what you did is because they are tooo selfish and you
> > don't need to waste more your time with them.
>
> but you would understand why I did it.

probably but this story makes me a little bit confused sometimes...

>
> I know I'm sounding a bit harsh and incredibly self centered about it. of
> course, it's not strictly about me and what he can do for me.
>
> this is the sort of guy that you want every inch of. there is nothing about
> him that is a wasted trait, and any sort of personality flaw only underscored
> the charm of his humanity. you never wanted him to be the ideal man because
> you wanted to spend your time finding out the areas perfection never had to
> hide. he is the sort that you would think of as a guilty pleasure, but it
> would awash you in it's intimacy that you never thought about coming back
> again and again for more. and he has these wonderfully deep eyes that express
> both intelligence and emotion.

you wrote such a beautiful thing Suzanne. It seems I can see this guy and perceives how marvelously good he is.

And all the things you stated... everything...

You wrote such a beautiful thing. I don't know what more I have to say.

The guy who inspired these words must be really proud of it, and he has to have such a responsability to deserve it.

Good night and thank you.
 
Re: mis-pronunciations

> as a footnote, i indeed found out that i was not being paranoid
> when i said my speech was a bit off. i found out tonight from my
> mom that when I was growing up, i had all sorts of
> mispronunciations as my daily talk. for example, i would
> pronounce the word "soap" as "sop".

> which of course, her mother said, "must be the German in
> her!" which makes no sense as she was neither german nor
> knew anything about germans, but you have to love grandma
> anyway.

hehe... well, you could say the portuguese side of you too, because we say "sop" and not "soup"... just kidding.

I had a different pronouncing too: i always pronounce my R like french people from Paris do and not as people from Curitiba do (the R from Curitiba is similar to the english one).

It's strange because people from Rio de Janeiro pronounce the R like me... and the most important soap operas of Brazil came from Rio... I pronounce an R "à la mode"...
 
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