Do you ever come to the Board just to see if a Certain Someone had posted anything?

  • Thread starter Abrahan "Palare" Garza
  • Start date
Re: movie star

> hello Suzanne!

> well, I am really late at night. My daughter now uses to sleep
> during the day to be with me during the night... but it doesn't
> matter really. It's 4:08am and it's really a pelasure to talk
> with you.

aww. she misses you.

> I am hearing Schubert now and these are the first moments in
> peace I have this day. :)

> well, as a footnote, I have to say I installed my Linux! Well, I
> don't know yet how to work with it because it seems really
> difficult, but I now I'm having a good internet assistance and I
> hope to access in internet from it... one day...:)

i guess i should join the anti-gates wagon and get one, but my computer is actually running these days.

> this is a strange and perhaps important side of me Suzanne,
> because even people who worked with me didn't knew I was so
> crazy about Morrissey when he came to my city. Then I had the
> opportunity to write about him in the local newspaper and
> everybody was surprised by my knowledge of Morrissey. Even my
> mother didn't know I was such a fan.

yes, people aren't very sympathetic to fanatics in general.

if I ever started a fanzine, I think one about Morrissey would be the hardest for me to do. if you aren't very attached to something, its much easier dealing with it on a more superficial level rather than having to daily confront and write your deepest thoughts.

> And I don't think it's wrong to be such a Morrissey fan. I
> simply don't like to share important things with those are not
> my real friends. And I don't have too many real fans, as you see
> in Now my heart is full :)

my list grows and shrinks on demand.

ugh. do you know when i had all the false alarms about colds? i think this one might be real....that or allergies.

but i guess i would be run down. besides all my daily craptacular events, yesterday, i cooked until the wee hours muffins and chocolate covered strawberries for the christmas party at work.

i don't know what the hell is wrong with me. all i know is my trip to La France switched on my cooking gene.

> I don't know how but I use to have these migraines in weekends.
> It seems my tension I repressed during the week comes to my head
> and causes pain in it. I don't know why but I have it.

change in sleep patterns?

i know someone who claimed that when they left their first husband, their migraines went away.

> And I have teeth pain today. I hope I'll be better tomorrow.

my jaw is really sore. i know it has something to do with my braces, but i don't know if its because my teeth are hitting strange, or the very back molar that it is uprighting is putting pressure on something.

> I understand you as I had the same problem today. My father
> invited me to dinner, and my daughter was expecting me... I
> think this period of the year is a little bit crazy, isn't it?

yes. i had the party at work today. i have a party tomorrow at a friend's, I haven't done a bit of christmas shopping.

but it's no fair. many of these people are still in school, and since it's the break, they can get all their stuff done and party at night.

> And if I sum my classes... :)

> was the film good at least?

> sometimes I make plans to do things I do at night in the
> mornings. But I seldom put this in practice... :)

you can't schedule things like nervous breakdowns. that always takes up lots of time. so does the need for sleep. throws your day off when you don't have to get up from your alarm.

> I understand but you don't need to put your computer away from
> you!

yeah, you're right. I haven't looked at it much for the past several days.

> what bootcamp means?

army training camp

> well, I think I do have discipline but this discipline is
> driving me crazy...

> it seems the cold is strong in USA, isn't it?

yes, i suppose.

> at least today the weather was much better. I like these hot
> days.

> nothing to do with but I am remembering how expensive was the
> gift I bought to my daughter.

@#!!!. kids are so easy to spoil. especially when there is only one.

i have no clue what i would do in that situation. not like i would ever have kids to ever prove either way what was right

> well, perhaps the thought of the gift came because it was very
> hot at the supermarket where I bought her electric motocycle...

that;'s cool. I wish my parents would have given me something like that.

> yes, I know it and this makes things still more dangerous to me
> :)

> well, I had a good supper with my father today and I'm not
> feeling guilty. Perhaps I needed at least one day to eat more
> than I use to and with no guilty.

> Well, perhaps I really have to make more exercises than just
> walking to the bus stations.

take the long way to the bus stations? it adds a couple of minutes at a time

> I saw it... I was just a little bit jealous... :)

> but please talk me about him - you wrote such marvelous words.

he's like all good muses. he peaks something within you, but you hardly ever see him. then, you take this person and lament on them in many different ways, filling in holes with what you would like them to do.

> In that time I thought exactly this: that I wouldn't be proud of
> myself if I did it.

> as I have seen, you and your friend like the same guy?

no. not exactly.

she's majorly in love with one guy, but he doesn't love her back so she is perpetually keeping her options open. Also, from what I understand, she kept the two of us from hooking up because she was jealous that he didn't think of her that way.

i sort of wish she had kept it that way. several months of being around him still doesn't do as much as several minutes around my muses.

> and your friend...?

she has her own guy.

it was silly. she was doing an approach of "i'll ignore him and he'll come to me" the entire time in another room, while I was standing there talking to him.

> how she goes out of her way?

> and I think you are correct. Escaping is not always the best
> solution. Our problems usually come with us.

> well, if you are sure he is a good guy he probably doesn't have
> interest in being bad with her. Perhaps he really loves her...
> and some loves are different from the physic usual love.

I don't think so.

From what I see, he's not very inept at dating, and really hasn't dated anyone in quite a long time. Maybe as long as me. But he claims he does it to focus on his school work. I don't blame him. Relationships eat up loads of time and usually don't lead anywhere.

> But not necessarily less intense.

> but didn't you even try to?

> it means you thought a lot about the subject?

i think about it quite a bit. despite my busy schedule, there is always plenty of time to crawl in bed alone at night and think about these things.

> probably but this story makes me a little bit confused
> sometimes...

> you wrote such a beautiful thing Suzanne. It seems I can see
> this guy and perceives how marvelously good he is.

> And all the things you stated... everything...

> You wrote such a beautiful thing. I don't know what more I have
> to say.

> The guy who inspired these words must be really proud of it, and
> he has to have such a responsability to deserve it.

you'd think, wouldn't you?
 
Re: mis-pronunciations

> hehe... well, you could say the portuguese side of you too,
> because we say "sop" and not "soup"... just
> kidding.

but i thought about it, and suddenly, everything begins falling into place. maybe it didn't just start with my foreign language classes. maybe there is really something different about my speech from the very beginning, and suddenly, some of the things I was told over the years about how I spoke suddenly take a new meaning. it's so ingrained and with you from the beginning that you have no idea that anything is wrong, then you hear a story nobody has ever bothered to mention to you and you start thinking....

> I had a different pronouncing too: i always pronounce my R like
> french people from Paris do and not as people from Curitiba do
> (the R from Curitiba is similar to the english one).

> It's strange because people from Rio de Janeiro pronounce the R
> like me... and the most important soap operas of Brazil came
> from Rio... I pronounce an R "à la mode"...

it could be where you learned it from....TV is a powerful force in language skills.
 
Re: movie star

hello Suzanne!
>
>
> aww. she misses you.

I think so. The poor girl. She's having a melancholy mood these days, I am a little bit worried about her.

Today she went to bed early, so I could arrive early to the computer...

I am hearing a radio program in internet. They are indie rock fans, and they are the guys who presented Brazilian kitsch music to me:) They are playing Pixies in their program now, they are crazy about them... but they are just TOO crazy about pixies to my taste.

>
>
> > well, as a footnote, I have to say I installed my Linux! Well, I
> > don't know yet how to work with it because it seems really
> > difficult, but I now I'm having a good internet assistance and I
> > hope to access in internet from it... one day...:)
>
> i guess i should join the anti-gates wagon and get one, but my computer is
> actually running these days.

oh yeah. Linux is much more complicated than I have ever hoped.

>
> > this is a strange and perhaps important side of me Suzanne,
> > because even people who worked with me didn't knew I was so
> > crazy about Morrissey when he came to my city. Then I had the
> > opportunity to write about him in the local newspaper and
> > everybody was surprised by my knowledge of Morrissey. Even my
> > mother didn't know I was such a fan.
>
> yes, people aren't very sympathetic to fanatics in general.

...perhaps because they have no passion in their lifes.

It's simplistic but it seems true.

>
> if I ever started a fanzine, I think one about Morrissey would be the hardest
> for me to do. if you aren't very attached to something, its much easier
> dealing with it on a more superficial level rather than having to daily
> confront and write your deepest thoughts.

I agree completely and there's another point too: I am much more offended if somebody doesn't like Morrissey than if this somebody dislikes someone else.

In fact, it's difficult to me to deal with people disliking him.

>
> > And I don't think it's wrong to be such a Morrissey fan. I
> > simply don't like to share important things with those are not
> > my real friends. And I don't have too many real fans, as you see
> > in Now my heart is full :)
>
> my list grows and shrinks on demand.
>
> ugh. do you know when i had all the false alarms about colds? i think this one
> might be real....that or allergies.

oh poor Suzanne...

My wealth is better now, but I'm always affraid of being sick again.

>
> but i guess i would be run down. besides all my daily craptacular events,
> yesterday, i cooked until the wee hours muffins and chocolate covered
> strawberries for the christmas party at work.

you cooked until the wee hours? this is amazing...

>
> i don't know what the hell is wrong with me. all i know is my trip to La
> France switched on my cooking gene.

hehehe... and what did you think of French food? When I was there I thought even the smallest places had a marvelous food!

Well, I am hungry now! It's 3:22am and I didn't eat that much this evening. But yesterday... oh I exagerated! :)

>
> > I don't know how but I use to have these migraines in weekends.
> > It seems my tension I repressed during the week comes to my head
> > and causes pain in it. I don't know why but I have it.
>
> change in sleep patterns?

oh, I am affraid of this question! :)

anyway, when I worked in a much worse job and I slept much more than I do today I had much worse migraines in weekends.
>
> i know someone who claimed that when they left their first husband, their
> migraines went away.

hehehe...

but this makes sense. When I left some jobs my migraines diminished...
>
> > And I have teeth pain today. I hope I'll be better tomorrow.
>
> my jaw is really sore. i know it has something to do with my braces, but i
> don't know if its because my teeth are hitting strange, or the very back molar
> that it is uprighting is putting pressure on something.

And how are you jaw now?

I never know why my teeth are bad one day and in the another one they are better... my teeth are better but not that much.

>
> > I understand you as I had the same problem today. My father
> > invited me to dinner, and my daughter was expecting me... I
> > think this period of the year is a little bit crazy, isn't it?
>
> yes. i had the party at work today. i have a party tomorrow at a friend's, I
> haven't done a bit of christmas shopping.

how were your parties?

I bought pratically all my gifts, but I think it's the first time I did it so early. :)

And I sent some e-cards too... yours will come on the 24th!

>
> but it's no fair. many of these people are still in school, and since it's the
> break, they can get all their stuff done and party at night.

oh yeah. when I was in school I certainly wouldn't believe I would do the number of things I'm doing nowadays...

>
> > And if I sum my classes... :)
>
> > was the film good at least?
>
> > sometimes I make plans to do things I do at night in the
> > mornings. But I seldom put this in practice... :)
>
> you can't schedule things like nervous breakdowns. that always takes up lots
> of time.

schedule things like nervous breakdowns takes up lots of time? why?

> so does the need for sleep. throws your day off when you don't have
> to get up from your alarm.

why?

>
> > I understand but you don't need to put your computer away from
> > you!
>
> yeah, you're right. I haven't looked at it much for the past several days.

Me neither... anyway I did lots of things in it today!

>
> > what bootcamp means?
>
> army training camp

this is interesting, because I am a little bit a frustrated military... I like military stories, and I think I would like to be one.

I am a little obsessive about planning and organization.

>
> > well, I think I do have discipline but this discipline is
> > driving me crazy...
>
> > it seems the cold is strong in USA, isn't it?
>
> yes, i suppose.

not in Austin?

And George W. Bush were born there? Are you a little bit proud of it at least? :)

well, probably not. If some politicians from Curitiba were elected presidents of Brazil I would hate it...

>
> > at least today the weather was much better. I like these hot
> > days.
>
> > nothing to do with but I am remembering how expensive was the
> > gift I bought to my daughter.
>
> @#!!!. kids are so easy to spoil. especially when there is only one.

hehehe... yes, sometimes I'm affraid of spoiling my daughter...

>
> i have no clue what i would do in that situation. not like i would ever have
> kids to ever prove either way what was right

yes, I thought I would be a much more rigid father in this point, but I am not. But I am somewhat rigid about her behaviour, and I think this is ok.

>
> > well, perhaps the thought of the gift came because it was very
> > hot at the supermarket where I bought her electric motocycle...
>
> that;'s cool. I wish my parents would have given me something like that.

me too. I think she'll like it, but I'm having problems in buying the electric cable to it. And the 24th December is arriving...

In my family we use to give gifts at 8 or 9 pm at 24th December.

>
> > yes, I know it and this makes things still more dangerous to me
> > :)
>
> > well, I had a good supper with my father today and I'm not
> > feeling guilty. Perhaps I needed at least one day to eat more
> > than I use to and with no guilty.
>
> > Well, perhaps I really have to make more exercises than just
> > walking to the bus stations.
>
> take the long way to the bus stations? it adds a couple of minutes at a time

yes, this is exactly what I use to do. And my School is some 8 minute by foot near home, and then I have to come and go... and then take a bus... that arrives some 8 minutes by foot from my work...

sometimes this tires me! :)

>
> > I saw it... I was just a little bit jealous... :)
>
> > but please talk me about him - you wrote such marvelous words.
>
> he's like all good muses. he peaks something within you, but you hardly ever
> see him. then, you take this person and lament on them in many different ways,
> filling in holes with what you would like them to do.

but how do you feel when you fill in his holes? This is a good sensation because he brings you peace even at distance or most of time you lament not to be physically with him?

>
> > In that time I thought exactly this: that I wouldn't be proud of
> > myself if I did it.
>
> > as I have seen, you and your friend like the same guy?
>
> no. not exactly.
>
> she's majorly in love with one guy, but he doesn't love her back so she is
> perpetually keeping her options open. Also, from what I understand, she kept
> the two of us from hooking up because she was jealous that he didn't think of
> her that way.

and this guy isn't your muse as I have seen... sorry for my stupidness...
>
> i sort of wish she had kept it that way. several months of being around him
> still doesn't do as much as several minutes around my muses.

you don't like her guy do you? what's his problem?

>
> > and your friend...?
>
> she has her own guy.
>
> it was silly. she was doing an approach of "i'll ignore him and he'll come to
> me" the entire time in another room, while I was standing there talking to
> him.

and her guy likes you?

>
> > how she goes out of her way?
>
> > and I think you are correct. Escaping is not always the best
> > solution. Our problems usually come with us.
>
> > well, if you are sure he is a good guy he probably doesn't have
> > interest in being bad with her. Perhaps he really loves her...
> > and some loves are different from the physic usual love.
>
> I don't think so.
>
> >From what I see, he's not very inept at dating, and really hasn't dated anyone
> in quite a long time. Maybe as long as me. But he claims he does it to focus
> on his school work. I don't blame him. Relationships eat up loads of time and
> usually don't lead anywhere.

but he knows you really like him? perhaps he puts you in a too high place, and he doesn't imagine you like him the way you do.

>
> > But not necessarily less intense.
>
> > but didn't you even try to?
>
> > it means you thought a lot about the subject?
>
> i think about it quite a bit. despite my busy schedule, there is always plenty
> of time to crawl in bed alone at night and think about these things.

oh... I wish I could help you... really...

>
> > probably but this story makes me a little bit confused
> > sometimes...
>
> > you wrote such a beautiful thing Suzanne. It seems I can see
> > this guy and perceives how marvelously good he is.
>
> > And all the things you stated... everything...
>
> > You wrote such a beautiful thing. I don't know what more I have
> > to say.
>
> > The guy who inspired these words must be really proud of it, and
> > he has to have such a responsability to deserve it.
>
> you'd think, wouldn't you?

I can't imagine myself being so deeply loved. I would be scared... And I would think that probably I didn't deserve it.

But I would be sooo happy about it!
 
Re: movie star

> hello Suzanne!

> I think so. The poor girl. She's having a melancholy mood these
> days, I am a little bit worried about her.

> Today she went to bed early, so I could arrive early to the
> computer...

no no no fabricio. you should be more sad that you can't spend more time with her.

i'm a computer code made of 1's and 0's, and she is a person that lives in your house.

> I am hearing a radio program in internet. They are indie rock
> fans, and they are the guys who presented Brazilian kitsch music
> to me:) They are playing Pixies in their program now, they are
> crazy about them... but they are just TOO crazy about pixies to
> my taste.

My pixies CD was stolen.....

> oh yeah. Linux is much more complicated than I have ever hoped.

it's new. just like anything else you will grow into it.

> ...perhaps because they have no passion in their lifes.

maybe they have passions of the tangible, like their significant others.

Morrissey is intangible like a disembodied voice. you hear and see him, but I dare you to be able to touch him.

> It's simplistic but it seems true.

> I agree completely and there's another point too: I am much more
> offended if somebody doesn't like Morrissey than if this
> somebody dislikes someone else.

> In fact, it's difficult to me to deal with people disliking him.

i've learned to deal with it.

it's like being vegeterian. I don't force my beliefs on anyone and go about it quietly, but people constantly pick at me for it.

> oh poor Suzanne...

> My wealth is better now, but I'm always affraid of being sick
> again.

as i told you, my birthday's always suck, and today was no exception.

my friends were having an unrelated, generic party and I didn't go. I curled up on the couch and tried to sleep, but I lay there mostly. It felt good to lie there even though my throat was scratchy and my sinuses are stuffy.

> you cooked until the wee hours? this is amazing...

i finished around 2:30 AM. i didn't mind.

> hehehe... and what did you think of French food? When I was
> there I thought even the smallest places had a marvelous food!

yes, i agree. I wanted to replicate those desserts. It's like everything is laced with crack.

> Well, I am hungry now! It's 3:22am and I didn't eat that much
> this evening. But yesterday... oh I exagerated! :)

> oh, I am affraid of this question! :)

> anyway, when I worked in a much worse job and I slept much more
> than I do today I had much worse migraines in weekends.

> hehehe...

> but this makes sense. When I left some jobs my migraines
> diminished...

> And how are you jaw now?

still a bit sore.

> I never know why my teeth are bad one day and in the another one
> they are better... my teeth are better but not that much.

mine are OK. i've been too lazy about the necessary cleaning obsessiveness needed with braces.

> how were your parties?

*sigh*

the one to see one guy off to the navy was OK.
the one at work was sort of dull. gift exchange nuttiness abound. i brought the people in my old department chocolate covered strawberries. they were wonderfully appreciative...which is why I gave them to that group and not the people I currently work with. the sales department is nothing but spoiled rotten twits who have nothing to do with you unless they need something, and the people in operations are poorly paid, work the worst hours, and get the least respect of anyone.

> I bought pratically all my gifts, but I think it's the first
> time I did it so early. :)

> And I sent some e-cards too... yours will come on the 24th!

should you spoil the surprise?

> oh yeah. when I was in school I certainly wouldn't believe I
> would do the number of things I'm doing nowadays...

when i was in school, i never imagined i would be doing so little when i got out as i am doing now.

> schedule things like nervous breakdowns takes up lots of time?
> why?

you need lots of time to pull yourself together.

> why?

> Me neither... anyway I did lots of things in it today!

> this is interesting, because I am a little bit a frustrated
> military... I like military stories, and I think I would like to
> be one.

> I am a little obsessive about planning and organization.

> not in Austin?

> And George W. Bush were born there? Are you a little bit proud
> of it at least? :)

I can't believe he was honestly elected. I can't believe I live in a nation of retards. George W. has nothing to offer period. He lets potentially innocent people be executed, he's not an intellectual nor does he have any deep thoughts on the state of anything, everything he has is because his dad got it for him, and he has used his vast resources for incredibly selfish means.

I can't think of a worse guy to be in that office.

> well, probably not. If some politicians from Curitiba were
> elected presidents of Brazil I would hate it...

> hehehe... yes, sometimes I'm affraid of spoiling my daughter...

> yes, I thought I would be a much more rigid father in this
> point, but I am not. But I am somewhat rigid about her
> behaviour, and I think this is ok.

the best thing you can do for her is give her confidence to be able to make choices by herself. If you raise a daughter who doesn't know how to voice her opinions, she will be an open target for whatever leach will come along and you don't want that.

> me too. I think she'll like it, but I'm having problems in
> buying the electric cable to it. And the 24th December is
> arriving...

> In my family we use to give gifts at 8 or 9 pm at 24th December.

> yes, this is exactly what I use to do. And my School is some 8
> minute by foot near home, and then I have to come and go... and
> then take a bus... that arrives some 8 minutes by foot from my
> work...

> sometimes this tires me! :)

that's good. tired is good.

> but how do you feel when you fill in his holes? This is a good
> sensation because he brings you peace even at distance or most
> of time you lament not to be physically with him?

who said i didnt?

sometimes wrong choices are made. sometimes, you are in a weird situation where you have almost no access to them. sometimes, you don't know how to be close to them.

> and this guy isn't your muse as I have seen... sorry for my
> stupidness...

no. and i wish my friends would quit trying to push the issue. I thought i pretty much made it clear that I'm not interested, but they keep going...

> you don't like her guy do you? what's his problem?

he's OK. He's on his own planet which at first chaffed me, but I've gotten to know him a little better and he's tolerable.

> and her guy likes you?

i don't think so. just small talk more than anything.

i rarely see this guy, but even so, he knew me more than many of the other people in the room.

> but he knows you really like him? perhaps he puts you in a too
> high place, and he doesn't imagine you like him the way you do.

i'm talking about the small talk guy. it's not him that i like.

> oh... I wish I could help you... really...

> I can't imagine myself being so deeply loved. I would be
> scared... And I would think that probably I didn't deserve it.

again, he is the sort of guy where the situation is all wrong. maybe all i do is fall for guys where the situation is all wrong. i don't know what's hard about me accepting some guy right in front of me who I see on a daily basis and who doesn't expect me to jump through hoops on a daily basis. Maybe I make too much out of the concept of love. Maybe i'm too difficult in my expectations.

I wish i had had a more normal dating life in highschool. It's better to learn early on how to juggle your love life with the rest of everything else you have going on rather than having to learn how to figure it in to your set ways and not having to deal with your ineptitude all at once.

Oh well. maybe all love is not the same. maybe i'll never know anything beyond a state of the unrequited, while other people dont know the meaning of the word. there has to be a spectrum in there somewhere.

> But I would be sooo happy about it!

what about your wife? what does she do all day?
 
Re: mis-pronunciations

> but i thought about it, and suddenly, everything begins falling
> into place. maybe it didn't just start with my foreign language
> classes. maybe there is really something different about my
> speech from the very beginning, and suddenly, some of the things
> I was told over the years about how I spoke suddenly take a new
> meaning. it's so ingrained and with you from the beginning that
> you have no idea that anything is wrong, then you hear a story
> nobody has ever bothered to mention to you and you start
> thinking....

interesting indeed.

Well, I don't know much about this suject, but probably the way you pronounce things is not any kind of dislexia... perhaps it's really
your German side or simply your way of pronouncing.

> it could be where you learned it from....TV is a powerful force
> in language skills.

oh perhaps, but I think I was too young to have learned it from TV. But I don't know. Perhaps is my German side too.
 
Re: movie star

hello Suzanne, I am writing from work now. My father went away and we have no jobs to do now. I don't know if I'll have to work next week or not. But I have just finished to write the notes of my students, and I feel easy. It's rare to me feeling... I'm not so obliged towards my School... My German classes finished too... We are almost in Christmas!

People are talking around me but I'm using my heavy heardphones... oh please guys leave me alone!

> no no no fabricio. you should be more sad that you can't spend
> more time with her.

mmmm... difficult question indeed. I almost always love to be with her, and I felt a little bit guilty for hoping she went to bed.

> i'm a computer code made of 1's and 0's, and she is a person
> that lives in your house.

oh, this is exactly my problem. I don't see you this way.

> My pixies CD was stolen.....

this is sad indeed. Are you a fan?

Today I felt I was more attached to rock n'roll. I passed the last two months almost without hearing it, but now I think I am more opened to this kind of music again. I am hearing Massive Attack now. Ok, it's not rock but it's not blues or Schubert either! :)

> it's new. just like anything else you will grow into it.

yeah. Today people from Linux wrote me probably I didn't do the correct options when I have installed it. So I have to install it again...

well, this worry me but I know I'll insist.

> maybe they have passions of the tangible, like their significant
> others.

and do you think this is goo?

> Morrissey is intangible like a disembodied voice. you hear and
> see him, but I dare you to be able to touch him.

yes, this is an important point of him. Some of his lyrics (as jack the ripper) are just about this. It seems the guy has no skin.

> i've learned to deal with it.

I don't. That's why I never talk about him to normal people.

When I do it I begin to talk a lot and with an enormous and sincere admiration. Normally people seem impressed (I think I seem to be a cold guy) that they are speechless.

> it's like being vegeterian. I don't force my beliefs on anyone
> and go about it quietly, but people constantly pick at me for
> it.

Oh, I didn't know you are a vegetarian...

> as i told you, my birthday's always suck, and today was no
> exception.

hey, I didn't perceive it was your birthday the first time I read your post! Sorry! I didn't send you a card!

But I'll do it. Which day is your birthday?

> my friends were having an unrelated, generic party and I didn't
> go. I curled up on the couch and tried to sleep, but I lay there
> mostly. It felt good to lie there even though my throat was
> scratchy and my sinuses are stuffy.

oh poor Suzanne... are you better now?

> i finished around 2:30 AM. i didn't mind.

And the food was ok, wasn't it?

> yes, i agree. I wanted to replicate those desserts. It's like
> everything is laced with crack.

mmm... I am hungry now...

and I earned 2 kg in 2 or 3 days. I simply can't stop control myself in this point (and in another ones too, of course... :) )

> still a bit sore.

mine too, but I am a little bit better.

> mine are OK. i've been too lazy about the necessary cleaning
> obsessiveness needed with braces.

Me too. It's too much work indeed.

> *sigh*

> the one to see one guy off to the navy was OK.

this guy was a friend of yours?

> the one at work was sort of dull. gift exchange nuttiness
> abound. i brought the people in my old department chocolate
> covered strawberries. they were wonderfully appreciative...which
> is why I gave them to that group and not the people I currently
> work with. the sales department is nothing but spoiled rotten
> twits who have nothing to do with you unless they need
> something, and the people in operations are poorly paid, work
> the worst hours, and get the least respect of anyone.

oh, you have a good character indeed Suzanne.

> should you spoil the surprise?

the thing I have already received some Christmas cards and I didn't want you to think I have forgotten you.

This is silly I know but this is me.

> when i was in school, i never imagined i would be doing so
> little when i got out as i am doing now.

I don't think you are doing little. You know I don't.

> you need lots of time to pull yourself together.

> I can't believe he was honestly elected. I can't believe I live
> in a nation of retards. George W. has nothing to offer period.
> He lets potentially innocent people be executed, he's not an
> intellectual nor does he have any deep thoughts on the state of
> anything, everything he has is because his dad got it for him,
> and he has used his vast resources for incredibly selfish means.

but don't you think he was elected too because of his propositon of cuting taxes?

I don't understand much of these subjects but this is perhaps a dangerous proposition. Anyway Reagan cut taxes too, didn't he?

> I can't think of a worse guy to be in that office.

sorry for insisting on this point, but what did you think of him if you knew him somewhere without knowing who is he? He seems a good guy to have a talk.

Of course being a president is completely different thing, but Al Gore seems too much an hypocrite to me.

And of course I am Brazilian and so on... :)

> the best thing you can do for her is give her confidence to be
> able to make choices by herself. If you raise a daughter who
> doesn't know how to voice her opinions, she will be an open
> target for whatever leach will come along and you don't want
> that.

yes, I try hardly to give this kind of orientation to her.

Well, not so hardly indeed. She always shouts her real opinions... :)

> that's good. tired is good.

yeah. That's why I am always happy! :)

> who said i didnt?

well, I think you don't have a real relationship with him, do you? that's what I was talking about.

> sometimes wrong choices are made.

why this is wrong?

> sometimes, you are in a weird
> situation where you have almost no access to them. sometimes,
> you don't know how to be close to them.

but he knows how much you want to be close to him?

anyway, I do understand it's a difficult situation. You said so marvelous things about him, this must be scared sometimes.

> no. and i wish my friends would quit trying to push the issue. I
> thought i pretty much made it clear that I'm not interested, but
> they keep going...

I admire your independence Suzanne. Believe me I think this is a good way of having something special in the future.

hey, I'm at home now nd it's 3:23 am! I could have finished this post at work but I enjoyed the moments before finally post it to you!

> he's OK. He's on his own planet which at first chaffed me, but
> I've gotten to know him a little better and he's tolerable.

> i don't think so. just small talk more than anything.

> i rarely see this guy, but even so, he knew me more than many of
> the other people in the room.

> i'm talking about the small talk guy. it's not him that i like.

Oh, but now I am talking about the guy you like... he knows you like him? Perhaps he doesn't have a clue...

> again, he is the sort of guy where the situation is all wrong.
> maybe all i do is fall for guys where the situation is all
> wrong. i don't know what's hard about me accepting some guy
> right in front of me who I see on a daily basis and who doesn't
> expect me to jump through hoops on a daily basis.

so you don't see him in a daily basis?

> Maybe I make
> too much out of the concept of love. Maybe i'm too difficult in
> my expectations.

perhaps not, I don't know... perhaps you just know you deserve a good guy, and you look for it. If all girls were like you certainly guys would be better...

> I wish i had had a more normal dating life in highschool. It's
> better to learn early on how to juggle your love life with the
> rest of everything else you have going on rather than having to
> learn how to figure it in to your set ways and not having to
> deal with your ineptitude all at once.

Again I don't think there's any ineptitude in your ways... you simply know you deserve more than what you see everywhere.

> Oh well. maybe all love is not the same. maybe i'll never know
> anything beyond a state of the unrequited, while other people
> dont know the meaning of the word. there has to be a spectrum in
> there somewhere.

I understand you are in a bad mood because you like a difficult guy... anyway perhaps he likes you more than you imagine. You deserve it.

> what about your wife? what does she do all day?

Well, I said I would be reallly happy if I was loved intensely and beautifully... my wife couldn't change a single point here.
 
early valentines' day

> hello Suzanne, I am writing from work now. My father went away
> and we have no jobs to do now. I don't know if I'll have to work
> next week or not. But I have just finished to write the notes of
> my students, and I feel easy. It's rare to me feeling... I'm not
> so obliged towards my School... My German classes finished
> too... We are almost in Christmas!

It nearly feels like it. I was dragging myself from one store to another today, doing all of the shopping I couldn't do for the last few weeks.

I'll tell you I didn't exactly feel like it. This cold is very strange. It can't decide if it wants to stay or go. Today, it wanted to stay.

Which sucks more because I really want to make truffels and other goodies and it's hard cooking for hours when you feel this way.

> People are talking around me but I'm using my heavy
> heardphones... oh please guys leave me alone!

> mmmm... difficult question indeed. I almost always love to be
> with her, and I felt a little bit guilty for hoping she went to
> bed.

tis the holiday season...I'm sure she's off from school and all.

> oh, this is exactly my problem. I don't see you this way.

you should.

> this is sad indeed. Are you a fan?

i got the CD to see if I was or not. It's OK. Good songs, but I can't find that groove that has me completely hooked.

> Today I felt I was more attached to rock n'roll. I passed the
> last two months almost without hearing it, but now I think I am
> more opened to this kind of music again. I am hearing Massive
> Attack now. Ok, it's not rock but it's not blues or Schubert
> either! :)

I've actually had an assortment of christmas tunes in my player. The charlie brown christmas, another album by the Chieftains, and a really cheesey one my mom got me last year called "Christmas in Scotland"

Speaking of music, i've discovered the beauty of napster. Before, MP3's were a pain in the ass to download and play. I found it (shamefully) after there was a mention of Kirsty Maccoll's "They Don't Know" on the newspage. I remembered this song when Tracy Ullman released it, and even about 5 years later when Tracy Ullman popped up on Fox with her on TV show, I was like "hey, that's the one with that song..."

And of course, I don't know who originally wrote that song until recently. I guess that is the only point of redemption to this whole tragedy is that the closet will be cleaned and credit will be placed where credit is due. Although i can't imagine how hard this is for her sons...and to say Steve Lillywhite. Just the complete stupidity of people sometimes. Had someone had thought they were something other than hot @#!!! and had the right to drive their boat in an area where they told them not to....

So, I listened to that one, completely forgetting the Ullman cover, and a few Pogues songs, one that I heard once on Radio One in the UK when I was there in 1996 and had it on my mind since then, then I remembered Johnny Marr's new band and found that....which is so odd to hear him sing that you keep imagining it is someone else. Looks like he's been taking singing lessons from Bernard Sumner and Noel Gallagher. It was OK. I think what was lacking is that it really seemed too polite Like he was going for the cleanness of the smiths' too much while trying to branch into a baudy area.

anyway, i had stuck a cd of my stuff in the cd rom in an attempt to turn them into MP3's...looks like my cd rom is mysteriously dead....that's odd....won't even let me have my cd back...huh.

as i was saying, when i put the CD in when the CD rom was working, I noticed my song had similar sing-songy rhyme, and it was odd because it was unintentional.

but i did stick a link to another song (not the same one) that I downloaded. I wrote it about a year ago, and it was one of my last songs I've ever composed. I would like to get it published and sell it off.

> yeah. Today people from Linux wrote me probably I didn't do the
> correct options when I have installed it. So I have to install
> it again...

it's always the way. that's why I always go for default settings.

> well, this worry me but I know I'll insist.

> and do you think this is goo?

> yes, this is an important point of him. Some of his lyrics (as
> jack the ripper) are just about this. It seems the guy has no
> skin.

> I don't. That's why I never talk about him to normal people.

I don't talk about him, even to abnormal people.

> When I do it I begin to talk a lot and with an enormous and
> sincere admiration. Normally people seem impressed (I think I
> seem to be a cold guy) that they are speechless.

> Oh, I didn't know you are a vegetarian...

4 years!

> hey, I didn't perceive it was your birthday the first time I
> read your post! Sorry! I didn't send you a card!

> But I'll do it. Which day is your birthday?

Don't bother with it. It was one of those things where I really didn't care, anyway. I didn't even remind my friends. I'm not sure what it is, but over the past few years, I have come to the belief that I want it ignored.

There was a generic party of sorts going on at somebody's house, but I didn't even do that. I was sick and wanted to do nothing but curl up and go to sleep.

> oh poor Suzanne... are you better now?

In waves...

> And the food was ok, wasn't it?

I was very happy.

> mmm... I am hungry now...

I am in junk food mode.

> and I earned 2 kg in 2 or 3 days. I simply can't stop control
> myself in this point (and in another ones too, of course... :)
> )

it is christmas....

> mine too, but I am a little bit better.

> Me too. It's too much work indeed.

> this guy was a friend of yours?

vaguely. I see him on occasion if they want a lot of numbers to make up a large group...with me being a number, of course.

> oh, you have a good character indeed Suzanne.

> the thing I have already received some Christmas cards and I
> didn't want you to think I have forgotten you.

i've sent nobody a christmas card. i'm so bad. not that I don't believe in it, but I just can't be bothered. I don't have any time, and I lack the organizational skills to do it.

> This is silly I know but this is me.

> I don't think you are doing little. You know I don't.

Yes, I do too much of the wrong things. If I could have my braincells back that I needlessly waste at work while everyone else sits on their lazy asses, i would have written a 5 Act play worthy of Shakespeare at this point.

> but don't you think he was elected too because of his propositon
> of cuting taxes?

i think he got elected because people are stupid.

i think he also got elected because they were tired of seeing anything that resembled the "Clinton/Gore" debacle.

> I don't understand much of these subjects but this is perhaps a
> dangerous proposition. Anyway Reagan cut taxes too, didn't he?

No, he cut taxes for the RICH. the poor people had to pay more.

> sorry for insisting on this point, but what did you think of him
> if you knew him somewhere without knowing who is he? He seems a
> good guy to have a talk.

Fabricio, i hate to say it, but you've never been a judge of character...

The only thing W. Bush has done is party, use his influence to have the punishment for his drunk driving offenses diminished, and own part of a baseball team which his dad bought for him. He goes to his dad to help him land good business deals and avoid investigations and court orders forcing them to clean up a chemical spill, and he uses his political power to help his friends out.

His dad, being a Yale graduate and an influential figure made his son a shoe-in for the university. If George W. had a dad as a computer programmer, I'm sure he would have been at the community college.

> Of course being a president is completely different thing, but
> Al Gore seems too much an hypocrite to me.

> And of course I am Brazilian and so on... :)

> yes, I try hardly to give this kind of orientation to her.

> Well, not so hardly indeed. She always shouts her real
> opinions... :)

> yeah. That's why I am always happy! :)

> well, I think you don't have a real relationship with him, do
> you? that's what I was talking about.

> why this is wrong?

> but he knows how much you want to be close to him?

it's a bad situation because I had sort of tried hanging out with his best friend for a while.....

but its a shame because he likes talking about music...decent music... and i'm currently surrounded by idiots who like the equivalent of the Jenny Jones house bands.

> anyway, I do understand it's a difficult situation. You said so
> marvelous things about him, this must be scared sometimes.

no, if we are thinking of the same "marvelous things" that is actually meant for someone else. My teutonic friend and this other guy are completely different people, both appealing in their different ways....I just happen to like this one darkhorse much better than the other.

> I admire your independence Suzanne. Believe me I think this is a
> good way of having something special in the future.

no it's not. You need connections and friends to help you get anywhere.

> hey, I'm at home now nd it's 3:23 am! I could have finished this
> post at work but I enjoyed the moments before finally post it to
> you!

> Oh, but now I am talking about the guy you like... he knows you
> like him? Perhaps he doesn't have a clue...

i don't see him...at all. he doesn't live in the same city as me.

> so you don't see him in a daily basis?

> perhaps not, I don't know... perhaps you just know you deserve a
> good guy, and you look for it. If all girls were like you
> certainly guys would be better...

Maybe i'm too picky. Even the ones with standards go on dates every once in a while.

> Again I don't think there's any ineptitude in your ways... you
> simply know you deserve more than what you see everywhere.

> I understand you are in a bad mood because you like a difficult
> guy... anyway perhaps he likes you more than you imagine. You
> deserve it.

you are starting to sound like a Chinese Fortune Cookie.

> Well, I said I would be reallly happy if I was loved intensely
> and beautifully... my wife couldn't change a single point here.

You have gooey-eyed love mixed up with committed love. Pining makes the thing a bit more exciting as you do build up to that moment imagining what will happen. But when you live with someone, you don't really have to imagine anymore. It's hard to keep up that stamina, I suppose (not that I know because I have nothing personal to base it on), when you look at them from the moment you get home and realize that nobody is going anywhere and it's harder to put peaks of excitement when you see them daily as opposed to every other day for a couple of hours.




my song
 
Re: early valentines' day

hello Suzanne,

well, it's 0:20 and everything is ok right here. I am hearing right now a Shangri-las song I heard during my dream last night. Tomorrow I won't work because my father will go to Guaraqueçaba (it's a small city in front of the sea in a 3 or 4 hours trip from here. He bought a terrain there to make a house (always the fishing thing) - perhaps he wanted me to go but... hehehe... I didn't say a thing... My brother will be there with him). My classes have finished... oh I have things to do tomorrow but it's good not working for a day or two.

I just watched a famous german movie called Sissi with Romy Schneider and during all my life I considered this film ridiculous without seeing it. But today I considered it wunderbar! I could justify it because I really understood lots of german words (almost never the sense of phrases of course - I watched it with subtitles) but in fact I was impressed by the brightness joy every minute of the film passed to me. I think I'm becoming a sentimental old guy, you know...

Oh I have to hear the Beatles white album! I'll bring it and then I'll return... oh I'm back again. Hearing my old LPs is a good habit I'm returning to have... hey, do you know Blackbird? How could the Beatles have been soooo good? The "1" cd made me return to them with a great satisfaction.

You know, yesterday I gave the motorcycle to my daughter and she really liked it. I have filmed her but I didn't see the film yet. It seems she wanted to drive it today but of course she is a little bit too young to drive it, and then she became a little bit affraid of it. But that's ok. I think she'll use it a lot.

My parents gave me some money and a pair of shoes and a parfum that I really liked. My brother gave a t-shirt. Well, I gave them my gifts too... I do love Christmas!

Yesterday I tried to not eat that much and today too. Anyway, now I drank a tea to help my digestion :)

> It nearly feels like it. I was dragging myself from one store to
> another today, doing all of the shopping I couldn't do for the
> last few weeks.

> I'll tell you I didn't exactly feel like it. This cold is very
> strange. It can't decide if it wants to stay or go. Today, it
> wanted to stay.

well, I told you that cold weather depresses me. In a time of my life I was always depressed and then I began to wear more clothes and my depression finished.

By chance it's very hot here. It was raining all day long but it's not cold at all.

It's a funny thing to have a friend in the North Hemisphere!

> Which sucks more because I really want to make truffels and
> other goodies and it's hard cooking for hours when you feel this
> way.

and did you cooked in the end?

well, now I took some black tea... it's brazilian I know but it's ok :)

> tis the holiday season...I'm sure she's off from school and all.

> you should.

why? do you consider yourself a sequence of zeros and ones?

of course not.

that's why I don't think in you that way either.

Oh yeah and my daughter is sleeping now... if not, well, I don't know. Perhaps I would be glad of being in her company or... perhaps I would be sad because I would wanted to be here...

this is me.

> i got the CD to see if I was or not. It's OK. Good songs, but I
> can't find that groove that has me completely hooked.

The same as me. When I bought the best of pixies cd I heard it for 3 or 4 months everyday.

But I have never heard it again.

It's difficult to find the mood to hear it again. The critics I told you that love Pixies love Cramps too. Oh Heaven knows I do prefer the Cramps!

> I've actually had an assortment of christmas tunes in my player.
> The charlie brown christmas,

this one must be good indeed!

> another album by the Chieftains,
> and a really cheesey one my mom got me last year called
> "Christmas in Scotland"

Christmas in Scotland? Traditional songs?

> Speaking of music, i've discovered the beauty of napster.

I did it too. I tried to get Lili Marlene but the only version I could get entirely was the Dietrich one that I didn't like. There was an english version too but it doesn't seem to be correct to get this song in english... :)

I got two new Snoop Dogg songs (clean versions :) ) in Mp3.com have I told you? The guy has THA GROOVE man!!!

> Before, MP3's were a pain in the ass to download and play. I
> found it (shamefully) after there was a mention of Kirsty
> Maccoll's "They Don't Know" on the newspage. I
> remembered this song when Tracy Ullman released it, and even
> about 5 years later when Tracy Ullman popped up on Fox with her
> on TV show, I was like "hey, that's the one with that
> song..."

this was a shame for me... The poor woman died and was a moz fan and I didn't even know who was she...

sometimes I feel I live too far from the rest of the world, you know?

> And of course, I don't know who originally wrote that song until
> recently. I guess that is the only point of redemption to this
> whole tragedy is that the closet will be cleaned and credit will
> be placed where credit is due. Although i can't imagine how hard
> this is for her sons...and to say Steve Lillywhite. Just the
> complete stupidity of people sometimes. Had someone had thought
> they were something other than hot @#!!! and had the right to
> drive their boat in an area where they told them not to....

yes this is really a shame. I remember I used to swimm in a beach near Curitiba where the sea is calm and I could swim easily. But the last times I came there it was simply impossible to swim because there were lots of boats that of course didn't respect the poor ones that wanted to swim. I simply stopped to swim there.

> So, I listened to that one, completely forgetting the Ullman
> cover, and a few Pogues songs, one that I heard once on Radio
> One in the UK when I was there in 1996 and had it on my mind
> since then, then I remembered Johnny Marr's new band and found
> that....which is so odd to hear him sing that you keep imagining
> it is someone else. Looks like he's been taking singing lessons
> from Bernard Sumner and Noel Gallagher. It was OK. I think what
> was lacking is that it really seemed too polite Like he was
> going for the cleanness of the smiths' too much while trying to
> branch into a baudy area.

Yes, I think one of the biggest reasons of Smiths success is that Morrissey voice is not polite at all. You see, the guy has an elevated culture, he likes poems, he writes poems and he is obviously sensible... but the acidity of his voice made the difference.

> anyway, i had stuck a cd of my stuff in the cd rom in an attempt
> to turn them into MP3's...looks like my cd rom is mysteriously
> dead....that's odd....won't even let me have my cd back...huh.

oh, I know exactly what you are talking about and this irritates us a lot doesn't it? My cd recorder drive doesn't work either, and I hope i'll fix it tomorrow.

Anyway, how can we pass a song from wav to mp3? I simply don't know how to do it (a shame, I know...)

And tomorrow is the day I hope I'll enter in the internet by the Linux (I'll try to talk with the guy who knows how this thing is made)! My Linux is finally workin on my computer, but I couldn't make it on-line yet and I couldn't see where the StarOffice is yet.

Anyway, I can hear cds and print things with th Linux too...

> as i was saying, when i put the CD in when the CD rom was
> working, I noticed my song had similar sing-songy rhyme, and it
> was odd because it was unintentional.

> but i did stick a link to another song (not the same one) that I
> downloaded. I wrote it about a year ago, and it was one of my
> last songs I've ever composed. I would like to get it published
> and sell it off.

oh yeah...

I'm hearing your song right now (I downloaded it but I couldn't hear it entirely - "rebuffering" problems) because I recorded it in my computer.

You see Suzanne, you have a lovely singing voice, and your song has such a beautiful melody... I am glad I can be really sincere with you now.

I was really moved.

Believe me.

I lost the adress of your page after all my viroses, can you send it again to me?

> it's always the way. that's why I always go for default
> settings.

but with my Linux versions the thing was not that simple. Perhaps with the new versions things are simpler.

> I don't talk about him, even to abnormal people.

heheh... do you know many abnormal people?

> 4 years!

oh!

And I talked to you about the "churrascos" and so on... sorry!

I was a vegetarian during one year, from 1981 to 1982 (!) I liked it but I had nothing to eat when I went to Europe... so I became the same meat murder I have always been.

> Don't bother with it. It was one of those things where I really
> didn't care, anyway. I didn't even remind my friends. I'm not
> sure what it is, but over the past few years, I have come to the
> belief that I want it ignored.

why? I think it's good to have birthdays.

Anyway I was depressed the very day I became a thirty-years-old guy... all seemed to become serious this day...

> There was a generic party of sorts going on at somebody's house,
> but I didn't even do that. I was sick and wanted to do nothing
> but curl up and go to sleep.

but now you are better aren't you?

anyway, which day is your birthday?

> In waves...

how is your wave now?

> I was very happy.

yes, you can send me your songs and your voice but not your food yet. I would like it.

> I am in junk food mode.

hehe... I think I'll get another tea... and I'm hearing a new Schubert cd now, with voice, piano and a horn (!) how exaclty a horn is? :) but it has a lovely sound indeed!

> it is christmas....

how was yours?

> vaguely. I see him on occasion if they want a lot of numbers to
> make up a large group...with me being a number, of course.

> i've sent nobody a christmas card. i'm so bad. not that I don't
> believe in it, but I just can't be bothered. I don't have any
> time, and I lack the organizational skills to do it.

but did you receive mine didn't you?

> Yes, I do too much of the wrong things. If I could have my
> braincells back that I needlessly waste at work while everyone
> else sits on their lazy asses, i would have written a 5 Act play
> worthy of Shakespeare at this point.

this is my catholic side but I think working is a very good thing to do.

Of course most of the works I did was a waste of time but it's written in Genesis that we have to work so I am glad of doing it.

I know it sounds ridiculous but again this is me.

> i think he got elected because people are stupid.

> i think he also got elected because they were tired of seeing
> anything that resembled the "Clinton/Gore" debacle.

> No, he cut taxes for the RICH. the poor people had to pay more.

oh really? I didn't knew it.

anyway, today it seems he is looked as a great president because he really had good intentions when he put Russia in a bad situation because of the Star War program.

> Fabricio, i hate to say it, but you've never been a judge of
> character...

hehehe... who knows?

> The only thing W. Bush has done is party, use his influence to
> have the punishment for his drunk driving offenses diminished,
> and own part of a baseball team which his dad bought for him. He
> goes to his dad to help him land good business deals and avoid
> investigations and court orders forcing them to clean up a
> chemical spill, and he uses his political power to help his
> friends out.

yes, you seem to be right on this point.

> His dad, being a Yale graduate and an influential figure made
> his son a shoe-in for the university. If George W. had a dad as
> a computer programmer, I'm sure he would have been at the
> community college.

> it's a bad situation because I had sort of tried hanging out
> with his best friend for a while.....

ok, but I can't see anything sooo bad in this situation.

Ok perhaps he'll think of not hurting his friend's feelings, but I don't think that's so grave.

> but its a shame because he likes talking about music...decent
> music... and i'm currently surrounded by idiots who like the
> equivalent of the Jenny Jones house bands.

I don't see anything shameful here. If he likes decent music you can talk about decent music with him don't you?

The idiots surrounding you has not a thing to do with.

You know? I am surrounding by idiots... and I simply don't pay attention to them. I have a list of e-mail friends and I "obliged" them to buy the 1 cd from the Beatles. At least Beatles idiots have to hear! :)

anyway, I am glad my father is less idiot since yesterday. He is crazy about Beethoven's symphonies, and it's the single non-idiot kind of music he likes. And I bought some symphonies to him yesterday!

> no, if we are thinking of the same "marvelous things"
> that is actually meant for someone else.

you said beautiful words about someone... and I think I don't know who this someone is...

> My teutonic friend and
> this other guy are completely different people, both appealing
> in their different ways....I just happen to like this one
> darkhorse much better than the other.

it's not the teutonic you like so deeply?

> no it's not. You need connections and friends to help you get
> anywhere.

but you have to know what you want too. And it seems most people don't know it.

> i don't see him...at all. he doesn't live in the same city as
> me.

so you never told him you like him...? perhaps if he knew it...

well, I don't know.

> Maybe i'm too picky. Even the ones with standards go on dates
> every once in a while.

perhaps I am wrong but sometimes I feel you don't want to have just a normal date. I think you want "The" date.

> you are starting to sound like a Chinese Fortune Cookie.

*sigh*

oh I don't know what I have to tell you know...

perhaps you are correct but you know I have some weird intuitions sometimes don't you?

> You have gooey-eyed love mixed up with committed love. Pining
> makes the thing a bit more exciting as you do build up to that
> moment imagining what will happen. But when you live with
> someone, you don't really have to imagine anymore. It's hard to
> keep up that stamina, I suppose (not that I know because I have
> nothing personal to base it on), when you look at them from the
> moment you get home and realize that nobody is going anywhere
> and it's harder to put peaks of excitement when you see them
> daily as opposed to every other day for a couple of hours.

well, I don't know what I have to say here...

... perhaps you are correct... I don't know.
 
what did i tell you?

*sigh*

the cards weren't necessary.
oh well. here i am, hopped up on sudafed in name of the christmas spirit. i may have been good, but my sinuses are not behaving themselves.

merry christmas, febreeze, and anyone else who is taking a peek. may we all be here next year to say the same.
 
Re: early valentines' day

> hello Suzanne,

> well, it's 0:20 and everything is ok right here. I am hearing
> right now a Shangri-las song I heard during my dream last night.
> Tomorrow I won't work because my father will go to Guaraqueçaba
> (it's a small city in front of the sea in a 3 or 4 hours trip
> from here. He bought a terrain there to make a house (always the
> fishing thing) - perhaps he wanted me to go but... hehehe... I
> didn't say a thing... My brother will be there with him). My
> classes have finished... oh I have things to do tomorrow but
> it's good not working for a day or two.

that's good. i have to go back tomorrow, although I tell ya, I don't really feel like it.

anyway, last night on tv, they were showing a documentary about city planning of major cities around the world. They did one on cairo, and then another on Curitiba! I was impressed by how they were trying to accomodate people without cars and the recycling program, hoping to get at least 70% of the garbage recycled.

but i noticed also that ya'lls poverty surpasses ours.

> I just watched a famous german movie called Sissi with Romy
> Schneider and during all my life I considered this film
> ridiculous without seeing it. But today I considered it
> wunderbar! I could justify it because I really understood lots
> of german words (almost never the sense of phrases of course - I
> watched it with subtitles) but in fact I was impressed by the
> brightness joy every minute of the film passed to me. I think
> I'm becoming a sentimental old guy, you know...

heh

> Oh I have to hear the Beatles white album! I'll bring it and
> then I'll return... oh I'm back again. Hearing my old LPs is a
> good habit I'm returning to have... hey, do you know Blackbird?

I know the joe cocker version.

> How could the Beatles have been soooo good? The "1" cd
> made me return to them with a great satisfaction.

i was thinking about them the other day. How they went from being a boy band to respected musicians...and you can't get away with that today. Once you are in one category, they leave you there to rot.

> You know, yesterday I gave the motorcycle to my daughter and she
> really liked it. I have filmed her but I didn't see the film
> yet. It seems she wanted to drive it today but of course she is
> a little bit too young to drive it, and then she became a little
> bit affraid of it. But that's ok. I think she'll use it a lot.

that's cool. but are you talking about a motorbike like a moped or vespa? I can't imagine any young kid being able to fit on a full sized Harley.

> My parents gave me some money and a pair of shoes and a parfum
> that I really liked. My brother gave a t-shirt. Well, I gave
> them my gifts too... I do love Christmas!

I got loaded down with vegeterian cookbooks. I put it on my list and end up with 3 of them. I think they are trying to tell me something.

> Yesterday I tried to not eat that much and today too. Anyway,
> now I drank a tea to help my digestion :)

> well, I told you that cold weather depresses me. In a time of my
> life I was always depressed and then I began to wear more
> clothes and my depression finished.

> By chance it's very hot here. It was raining all day long but
> it's not cold at all.

> It's a funny thing to have a friend in the North Hemisphere!

> and did you cooked in the end?

yes. it wasn't that bad. the sort of things I was making allowed me to cook it in stages, and I could stick it in the fridge until the end.

> well, now I took some black tea... it's brazilian I know but
> it's ok :)

> why? do you consider yourself a sequence of zeros and ones?

> of course not.

> that's why I don't think in you that way either.

> Oh yeah and my daughter is sleeping now... if not, well, I don't
> know. Perhaps I would be glad of being in her company or...
> perhaps I would be sad because I would wanted to be here...

you'll be wishing for this time back one day.

> this is me.

> The same as me. When I bought the best of pixies cd I heard it
> for 3 or 4 months everyday.

> But I have never heard it again.

> It's difficult to find the mood to hear it again. The critics I
> told you that love Pixies love Cramps too. Oh Heaven knows I do
> prefer the Cramps!

> this one must be good indeed!

> Christmas in Scotland? Traditional songs?

no. just some bagpipe renditions of "jingle bells" and folk singers doing "lord of the dance"

> I did it too. I tried to get Lili Marlene but the only version I
> could get entirely was the Dietrich one that I didn't like.
> There was an english version too but it doesn't seem to be
> correct to get this song in english... :)

> I got two new Snoop Dogg songs (clean versions :) ) in Mp3.com
> have I told you? The guy has THA GROOVE man!!!

i'm sure...

> this was a shame for me... The poor woman died and was a moz fan
> and I didn't even know who was she...

you don't have to know EVERY moz fan. if you do, you will never have any free time to do anything else.

but I don't know if "moz fan" is correct discription you should be going for. she did backing vocals for some of his songs and was a friend of his.

> sometimes I feel I live too far from the rest of the world, you
> know?

> yes this is really a shame. I remember I used to swimm in a
> beach near Curitiba where the sea is calm and I could swim
> easily. But the last times I came there it was simply impossible
> to swim because there were lots of boats that of course didn't
> respect the poor ones that wanted to swim. I simply stopped to
> swim there.

> Yes, I think one of the biggest reasons of Smiths success is
> that Morrissey voice is not polite at all. You see, the guy has
> an elevated culture, he likes poems, he writes poems and he is
> obviously sensible... but the acidity of his voice made the
> difference.

I'm talking about musically, not vocally.

> oh, I know exactly what you are talking about and this irritates
> us a lot doesn't it? My cd recorder drive doesn't work either,
> and I hope i'll fix it tomorrow.

it started working again on it's own. i guess turning the computer off and then back on does many wonders.

> Anyway, how can we pass a song from wav to mp3? I simply don't
> know how to do it (a shame, I know...)

If you have winamp, music match jukebox, or another form of MP3 player, they have an option that lets you do that. I had to do that, otherwise, I would never have been able to upload my song. Something about mp3 eats up the bandwidth and it kept timing out on my server, and Realplayer producer has a feature which lets you upload your music as a webpage.

> And tomorrow is the day I hope I'll enter in the internet by the
> Linux (I'll try to talk with the guy who knows how this thing is
> made)! My Linux is finally workin on my computer, but I couldn't
> make it on-line yet and I couldn't see where the StarOffice is
> yet.

> Anyway, I can hear cds and print things with th Linux too...

> oh yeah...

> I'm hearing your song right now (I downloaded it but I couldn't
> hear it entirely - "rebuffering" problems) because I
> recorded it in my computer.

um, how did you do that? I thought i had something encoded on there that prevented that.

not that i'm a miser, but i meant it to make it harder to do to keep some sneaky bastard who might potentially do some copyright infringement.

> You see Suzanne, you have a lovely singing voice, and your song
> has such a beautiful melody... I am glad I can be really sincere
> with you now.

were you insincere before?

> I was really moved.

> Believe me.

> I lost the adress of your page after all my viroses, can you
> send it again to me?

um...heh...i had to do some major damage to it to have the webspace needed for that song.

it didn't matter. that website had fell into disrepair eons ago.

> but with my Linux versions the thing was not that simple.
> Perhaps with the new versions things are simpler.

> heheh... do you know many abnormal people?

lots of them.

> oh!

> And I talked to you about the "churrascos" and so
> on... sorry!

> I was a vegetarian during one year, from 1981 to 1982 (!) I
> liked it but I had nothing to eat when I went to Europe... so I
> became the same meat murder I have always been.

> why? I think it's good to have birthdays.

i just don't like them. i also do such a poor job of remembering everyone else's birthdays that i feel bad when mine rolls around. i know i really didn't do much of anything for them, so why should i be demanding something?

> Anyway I was depressed the very day I became a thirty-years-old
> guy... all seemed to become serious this day...

yeah, that's not too far off from me.

i think about it alot. this whole thing of being a loner and all is fine now, but I think of when I get older and it gets harder to find a guy...because I know how many of them are. when you are in your 20's the entire world is in front of you, but when you get older, your options start shrinking.

> but now you are better aren't you?

> anyway, which day is your birthday?

> how is your wave now?

lower. it's the phase called the onset of 2ndary infections. sinuses putting strange pressure on your face....throat is still sore...coughing in a way that indicates maybe a bout of bronchitis could be on the way...staring like a zombie because the cold medicine makes you sleepy. it started last night. i spent all of the day planted on my parent's couch, barely moving as I watched nearly all of Gone with the Wind.

> yes, you can send me your songs and your voice but not your food
> yet. I would like it.

hmm....i could deploy recipes..

> hehe... I think I'll get another tea... and I'm hearing a new
> Schubert cd now, with voice, piano and a horn (!) how exaclty a
> horn is? :) but it has a lovely sound indeed!

> how was yours?

> but did you receive mine didn't you?

yes. very nice...

> this is my catholic side but I think working is a very good
> thing to do.

> Of course most of the works I did was a waste of time but it's
> written in Genesis that we have to work so I am glad of doing
> it.

> I know it sounds ridiculous but again this is me.

> oh really? I didn't knew it.

> anyway, today it seems he is looked as a great president because
> he really had good intentions when he put Russia in a bad
> situation because of the Star War program.

You're thinking about Reagan.

But it really started with Tiennamen square, don't you think? I think people looked at that and didn't want that to happen.

> hehehe... who knows?

> yes, you seem to be right on this point.

> ok, but I can't see anything sooo bad in this situation.

there was a possibility of a dating situation....

> Ok perhaps he'll think of not hurting his friend's feelings, but
> I don't think that's so grave.

you don't understand how close these two are. they are almost like brothers.

> I don't see anything shameful here. If he likes decent music you
> can talk about decent music with him don't you?

> The idiots surrounding you has not a thing to do with.

> You know? I am surrounding by idiots... and I simply don't pay
> attention to them. I have a list of e-mail friends and I
> "obliged" them to buy the 1 cd from the Beatles. At
> least Beatles idiots have to hear! :)

> anyway, I am glad my father is less idiot since yesterday. He is
> crazy about Beethoven's symphonies, and it's the single
> non-idiot kind of music he likes. And I bought some symphonies
> to him yesterday!

> you said beautiful words about someone... and I think I don't
> know who this someone is...

no, you don't really know them...not in a way that needs explaining.

> it's not the teutonic you like so deeply?

> but you have to know what you want too. And it seems most people
> don't know it.

> so you never told him you like him...? perhaps if he knew it...

no, he should already have known years ago. I pretty much flat out told him.

> perhaps you are correct but you know I have some weird
> intuitions sometimes don't you?

> well, I don't know what I have to say here...

> ... perhaps you are correct... I don't know.

yes, i mean, I think that's why there are so many affairs. they still have the highschool notion of what love should be like. You have piddling responsibilities that you reserve for another time, so all the time that you spend together is completely seperate from everything else. when you live with them, you can't get around having to clean the bathtub, or do the grocery shopping, and therefore, makes the whole thing seem a lot less glamorous. when people date casually, it's like they are sneaking away from the mundane and putting this person on a pedestal as being exciting. after all, they don't have to be there to take out the garbage or staring at this person's dirty clothes. It's almost like they are a person, but they aren't. Sort of like being in love with a movie star. Their humanity is not thrown up in your face.

What you have at home, Fabricio, is much more. There are many things people can't do by themselves. When you don't have someone there for you emotionally, it really changes your outlook on the world. I can tell you that whatever you do, whatever achievements you try, there will always be that gaping hole that doesn't make what you do that fulfilling. Most things in this world are not going to love you back, and you know that or you would not have gotten married in the first place.
 
Re: Shirley Valentines' day

> well, I don't know what I have to say here...

> ... perhaps you are correct... I don't know.

I admire the frank candour of these page-long conversations.

"Is it all just the same in the end, tell me tell me ..."
 
Re: Shirley Valentines' day

> I admire the frank candour of these page-long conversations.

> "Is it all just the same in the end, tell me tell me
> ..."

this was sooo sweet wicked wendy!!!
 
Re: what did i tell you?

> may we all be here next year to say the same.

this will be excelent indeed!!!
 
Re: early valentines' day

oh i can't believe I'm writing to you again...

oh yes, the "linux thang" finally got from me what it always wanted to: it
killed my computer! :-( i could do so many things with it, as printing
things and installing the staroffice... yeah i did it. But i think when i
tried to access my modem from the linux system my problems really began (or
they began when i tried to change my video configuration, i'm not sure)...
and then my windows system began to be very unstable, and i couldn't do
anything but turn of my computer every 5 minutes... well, and i wrote to you
asking for pardon for having not write you (and i didn't ask you about your
sinusitis, sorry...) i was in that point.

Then my computer assitant caught my computer for deleting the linux because
i was tired of it (he have told me to not puting the linux in my
computer...) and he simply couldn't do it! his windows formating system
couldn't see the linux in the computer nor deleting it... yeah this was sad.

So my computer assistant waited for a guy who was triping who knew the
linux... so the linux-guy returned and my computer assistant stood 45
minutes on the telephone with him... and finally they could deleting my
linux system (my computer assistant says he still doesn't know how he did it
:) )and finally today i got my computer! by chance i'm not working this
week (and i hope i won't work the next one either :) ) and i had time to
finish the last configurations i needed. Well, I'm glad to tell you my cd
writer is working now, after all this process, and I have plans to send you
some cds with the musics i use to hear when i write to you, as schubert,
brazilian kitsch ones, beatles, shangri-las and bach. Perhaps you won't like
it, and then in this case you simply don't need to hear them! :) anyway,
i'll need some time to make all these cds (of course if you want some copies
of the cds they robbed you i'll send you with joy - but i know it's not the
same thing...)

so I am glad to talk to you again - i was worried that the time was passing,
i had some time to write but not the computer:-(

it's 1:48 am now and i'm hearing the marvelous schubert's die schone
mullerin in a version i bought today, much worse than the other one i had
before, the same one you know ate least a song...

and it's really hot in curitiba. I can't understand why people complain
about it!

>
> > classes have finished... oh I have things to do tomorrow but
> > it's good not working for a day or two.
>
> that's good. i have to go back tomorrow, although I tell ya, I don't
really
> feel like it.

how was your week?

>
> anyway, last night on tv, they were showing a documentary about city
> planning of major cities around the world. They did one on cairo, and then
> another on Curitiba!

oh! you noticing about curitiba is really really amazing, and i have no
words...

>I was impressed by how they were trying to accomodate
> people without cars

this is really true. I've told about the pleasure i have in going to places
by bus! probably they said about the "tube-stations" that are bus stations
made with acrylic in a tube form where people pay before entering in it.
This really works. There are two main bus systems, one called "ligeirinho"
that are grey buses that goes fast in the middle of the traffic (ligeirinho
means fast) and the principal one called "expresso" that are red buses going
in special streets (they go really fast). In these two systems there's a
sound system into the buses for saying the names of the stations and some
more informations. This sound system is similar to the airport ones (!) and
i think the poor people feels like they are at least not so bad treated as
they use to be everywhere. There are the yellow normal buses and some other
systems too.

> and the recycling program, hoping to get at least 70% of
> the garbage recycled.

curitiba was the first city in brazil that recycled its garbage. They did
lots of announcements about it.... :) and i think this is good too.

and we have lots of parks here too (i think i have told you about the german
park where my daughter loves to go).

well, let's say that curitiba is the capital of the paraná state, and
nowadays paraná's governor was the guy who was mayor in curitiba when this
new transport system was created, when most of parks were created and when
the garbage system was created too. And he made his successors and so on.
Nobody can sayhe was not a good mayor for Curitiba.

Anyway he seems to be a completely corrupted guy, and so all people around
him. This is sad and he is having a disastrous mandate now, in all aspects.

>
> but i noticed also that ya'lls poverty surpasses ours.

i think this is really our greatest shame. I'm impressed by the poverty in
my city, and it's a so old an big poverty that i think we'll have to have
decades to finish with it.

And i went to some other brazilian cities where the poverty surpasses
curitiba's one.

>
> > Oh I have to hear the Beatles white album! I'll bring it and
> > then I'll return... oh I'm back again. Hearing my old LPs is a
> > good habit I'm returning to have... hey, do you know Blackbird?
>
> I know the joe cocker version.

hehe... i can't believe he could sing a so sensible song, one of the most
sensible beatles' ones...

anyway it makes sense. A guy with a delicated voice would certainly be
compared with paul mccartney's one and certainly would lose!

>
> > How could the Beatles have been soooo good? The "1" cd
> > made me return to them with a great satisfaction.
>
> i was thinking about them the other day. How they went from being a boy
band
> to respected musicians...and you can't get away with that today. Once you
> are in one category, they leave you there to rot.

i am really impressed by the people who can like the beatles. There are so
many people that never hear pop music BUT the beatles...

i am impressed by it to. Do you think this is because the time was another
one or the beatles were really a special band? i don't know the answer to be
sincere.

what i see around me is that normally people like "styles" of music. Oh i
can't understand it. I am hearing for the 5th time this night lightnin'
hopkins' "needed time" , and i think i'll hear many times again :) you see?
most people to whom i show lightnin' hopkins loves him, and so perhaps most
of people don't have time to know all good music aroud the world.

Or perhaps i'm simply different. For me if i feel the music i'm hearing is
sincere i like it.

And you sing with a sincere voice, have you ever heard it?

>
> > You know, yesterday I gave the motorcycle to my daughter and she
> > really liked it. I have filmed her but I didn't see the film
> > yet. It seems she wanted to drive it today but of course she is
> > a little bit too young to drive it, and then she became a little
> > bit affraid of it. But that's ok. I think she'll use it a lot.
>
> that's cool. but are you talking about a motorbike like a moped or vespa?

i think it's a moped type.

She earned a scooter too, from my mother. It's a huge mode in brazil now,
the scooters. I remember when i was a kid scooters were outmoded :)

>I can't imagine any young kid being able to fit on a full sized Harley.

hehe...

well, i don't like motorbikes but the harleys. I think they are cool (but of
course i don't know a thing about them, as i use to do with things with
motors in general...)

>
> > My parents gave me some money and a pair of shoes and a parfum
> > that I really liked. My brother gave a t-shirt. Well, I gave
> > them my gifts too... I do love Christmas!
>
> I got loaded down with vegeterian cookbooks. I put it on my list and end
up
> with 3 of them. I think they are trying to tell me something.

hehe... i'm laughing now...

anyway now i am serious: perhaps they are simply telling you they like your
food didn't they?
>
> > and did you cooked in the end?
>
> yes. it wasn't that bad. the sort of things I was making allowed me to
cook
> it in stages, and I could stick it in the fridge until the end.

you seem really to have this talent don't you Suzanne?

I'm glad for you.

And a bit jealous too :)

all i can do are campbell's soups...

>
> > Oh yeah and my daughter is sleeping now... if not, well, I don't
> > know. Perhaps I would be glad of being in her company or...
> > perhaps I would be sad because I would wanted to be here...
>
> you'll be wishing for this time back one day.

yes, everybody says so.

But I really enjoy my daughter's company, and sometimes i feel guilty for
not being with her. That's why I stay with her lots of times.

>
> > Christmas in Scotland? Traditional songs?
>
> no. just some bagpipe renditions of "jingle bells" and folk singers doing
> "lord of the dance"

i used to like the sound of the bagpipes. I remember i had an old LP that i
heard everyday...

>
> > I got two new Snoop Dogg songs (clean versions :) ) in Mp3.com
> > have I told you? The guy has THA GROOVE man!!!
>
> i'm sure...

are you ironic?

anyway, why everybody looks at me scared because my love of rap?

>
> > this was a shame for me... The poor woman died and was a moz fan
> > and I didn't even know who was she...
>
> you don't have to know EVERY moz fan. if you do, you will never have any
> free time to do anything else.

hehe... but she was not a famous girl?

>
> but I don't know if "moz fan" is correct discription you should be going
> for. she did backing vocals for some of his songs and was a friend of his.

oh.

>
> > Yes, I think one of the biggest reasons of Smiths success is
> > that Morrissey voice is not polite at all. You see, the guy has
> > an elevated culture, he likes poems, he writes poems and he is
> > obviously sensible... but the acidity of his voice made the
> > difference.
>
> I'm talking about musically, not vocally.

yes, there's acidity in most of his lyrics to.

And a great love too - even if this side of him is not so famous.

>
> > oh, I know exactly what you are talking about and this irritates
> > us a lot doesn't it? My cd recorder drive doesn't work either,
> > and I hope i'll fix it tomorrow.
>
> it started working again on it's own. i guess turning the computer off and
> then back on does many wonders.

yes... except if you are working with a linux system

>
> > Anyway, how can we pass a song from wav to mp3? I simply don't
> > know how to do it (a shame, I know...)
>
> If you have winamp, music match jukebox, or another form of MP3 player,
they
> have an option that lets you do that.

Yes, now I'm tryng to do these things. I can pass my songs from LP to CD now
(but i don't think the quality of the passage is very good) and i already
passed the b side of my shangri-las lp to the computer, in a wave mode. I'll
create a CD with it.

> I had to do that, otherwise, I would
> never have been able to upload my song. Something about mp3 eats up the
> bandwidth and it kept timing out on my server, and Realplayer producer has
a
> feature which lets you upload your music as a webpage.

yes, and i took the first words of the webpage of your song and i got your
page! i was glad to see it again, but unfortunatley i couldn't hear any
other song...

anyway i didn't have so much time with computers this week...

>
> > I'm hearing your song right now (I downloaded it but I couldn't
> > hear it entirely - "rebuffering" problems) because I
> > recorded it in my computer.
>
> um, how did you do that? I thought i had something encoded on there that
> prevented that.

well, i really don't know what happened...

>
> not that i'm a miser, but i meant it to make it harder to do to keep some
> sneaky bastard who might potentially do some copyright infringement.

but how this works? the sneaky bastard can't record your song?

>
> > You see Suzanne, you have a lovely singing voice, and your song
> > has such a beautiful melody... I am glad I can be really sincere
> > with you now.
>
> were you insincere before?
>

i posted you about it... i'm sorry for my misunderstanding...

> > I was really moved.
>
> > Believe me.
>
> > I lost the adress of your page after all my viroses, can you
> > send it again to me?
>
> um...heh...i had to do some major damage to it to have the webspace needed
> for that song.

but did you do this now?

>
> it didn't matter. that website had fell into disrepair eons ago.

oh no... i liked it...

>
> > but with my Linux versions the thing was not that simple.
> > Perhaps with the new versions things are simpler.
>
> > heheh... do you know many abnormal people?
>
> lots of them.

hehehe...

>
> > why? I think it's good to have birthdays.
>
> i just don't like them. i also do such a poor job of remembering everyone
> else's birthdays that i feel bad when mine rolls around. i know i really
> didn't do much of anything for them, so why should i be demanding
something?

yes, i never remember anyone's birthday, so i don't want anyone to rember
mine.

So i always remember them of my birthday!

>
> > Anyway I was depressed the very day I became a thirty-years-old
> > guy... all seemed to become serious this day...
>
> yeah, that's not too far off from me.
>
> i think about it alot. this whole thing of being a loner and all is fine
> now, but I think of when I get older and it gets harder to find a
> guy...because I know how many of them are. when you are in your 20's the
> entire world is in front of you, but when you get older, your options
start
> shrinking.

but you can find someone that really likes you and will stay with you all
the rest of your life, because it won't be the case he is impressed by your
youth.

> > but now you are better aren't you?
>
> > anyway, which day is your birthday?
>
> > how is your wave now?
>
> lower. it's the phase called the onset of 2ndary infections. sinuses
putting
> strange pressure on your face....throat is still sore...coughing in a way
> that indicates maybe a bout of bronchitis could be on the way...staring
like
> a zombie because the cold medicine makes you sleepy. it started last
night.
> i spent all of the day planted on my parent's couch, barely moving as I
> watched nearly all of Gone with the Wind.

oh poor suzanne... after writing you i remembered i didn't asked you about
your sinuses... this was a shame indeed.

Anyway, how are you now?

>
> > yes, you can send me your songs and your voice but not your food
> > yet. I would like it.
>
> hmm....i could deploy recipes..

oh yeah!

but if i'll cook here certainly things won't be that good. But i'll remeber
you and this is ok.

>
> > but did you receive mine didn't you?
>
> yes. very nice...

*big smiles*

>
> > anyway, today it seems he is looked as a great president because
> > he really had good intentions when he put Russia in a bad
> > situation because of the Star War program.
>
> You're thinking about Reagan.
>
> But it really started with Tiennamen square, don't you think? I think
people
> looked at that and didn't want that to happen.

you are saying people didn't want the repression that happened there?

anyway i think everything began with solidarnosc in polland. The Pope and
reagan knew how to caught that hystorical moment... and they won.

>
> > hehehe... who knows?
>
> > yes, you seem to be right on this point.
>
> > ok, but I can't see anything sooo bad in this situation.
>
> there was a possibility of a dating situation....

but this may br good don't you think?

>
> > Ok perhaps he'll think of not hurting his friend's feelings, but
> > I don't think that's so grave.
>
> you don't understand how close these two are. they are almost like brothers.

well, i have always belied in love. It's silly i know but i try to practice it.

I told you the story of the girl i loved but was the girlfriend of one of my best friends. I continued to be a friend of both...

>
> > I don't see anything shameful here. If he likes decent music you
> > can talk about decent music with him don't you?
>
> > you said beautiful words about someone... and I think I don't
> > know who this someone is...
>
> no, you don't really know them...not in a way that needs explaining.

mmmm

anyway, you love one of the two closed friends don't you?

i was impressed by the words you wrote about the guy you love... and sometimes you talk about other guys... and i become confused.

>

> > so you never told him you like him...? perhaps if he knew it...
>
> no, he should already have known years ago. I pretty much flat out told him.

ok, but you told him you still like him? perhaps he doesn't know it.

>
> > perhaps you are correct but you know I have some weird
> > intuitions sometimes don't you?
>
> > well, I don't know what I have to say here...
>
> > ... perhaps you are correct... I don't know.
>
> yes, i mean, I think that's why there are so many affairs. they still have
> the highschool notion of what love should be like. You have piddling
> responsibilities that you reserve for another time, so all the time that
you
> spend together is completely seperate from everything else. when you live
> with them, you can't get around having to clean the bathtub, or do the
> grocery shopping, and therefore, makes the whole thing seem a lot less
> glamorous. when people date casually, it's like they are sneaking away
from
> the mundane and putting this person on a pedestal as being exciting. after
> all, they don't have to be there to take out the garbage or staring at
this
> person's dirty clothes. It's almost like they are a person, but they
aren't.
> Sort of like being in love with a movie star. Their humanity is not thrown
> up in your face.
>
> What you have at home, Fabricio, is much more. There are many things
people
> can't do by themselves. When you don't have someone there for you
> emotionally, it really changes your outlook on the world. I can tell you
> that whatever you do, whatever achievements you try, there will always be
> that gaping hole that doesn't make what you do that fulfilling. Most
things
> in this world are not going to love you back, and you know that or you
would
> not have gotten married in the first place.
>

I understand what you are saying, and I have to say that being married takes off much of our illusions. Other's humanity is thrown up our face and this certainly is the cause of much marriages breakups...

Anyway we finish to learn to live with it.

But there are some things I discovered, and for example that all other girls have humanity too, so our illusions finish on this point.

And another important thing is that we may be married but our live doesn't end. We still can have desire for other people. And this is the normal thing to happen.

And another thing is that we can not only desire other people but we can sincerely love other people, as we had two or more wifes. In a beautiful way, believe me.
 
Re: Shirley Valentines' day

> this was sooo sweet wicked wendy!!!

I'm a big fan, Fabrizio. I don't miss any of your posts.

The New York Dull,
W.W.
 
Re: Shirley Valentines' day

> I'm a big fan, Fabrizio. I don't miss any of your posts.

> The New York Dull,
> W.W.

Oh thank you... sorry but i really don't have more words... thank you!
 
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