posted by davidt on Wednesday December 31 2003, @12:00PM
Danny writes:

SomethingAwful, a popular internet humor site, has included a bit about The Smiths and Morrissey in the latest "Your Band Sucks" column.

Your Band Sucks: "Indie's Sacred Cows" by Dr. David Thorpe


"The Smiths, if you've never heard of them, were just a tornado of teenage repression, bad pseudo-literate jokes, failed attempts at witty turns of phrase, and Morrissey's pained, tuneless holler..."
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  • trash the Smiths then that is the way to do it. Pick one song and pull some lyrics to twist then drone on and on about how sad Morrissey must have been.

    But, now that I think about it, Johnny Marr does sound alot like Steve Miller!
    punk_lawyer <{punk_lawyer} {at} {hotmail.com}> -- Wednesday December 31 2003, @12:15PM (#83024)
    (User #6043 Info)
    Do you have a vacancy for a back-scrubber?
  • I read Dr. Thorpe's comments about the Smiths, Morrissey, My Bloody Valentine, Joy Division and so on and I was utterly offended. His attacks are warrantless and poorly written. Clearly the man has no taste. So ... what does the esteemed Doctor listen to? Anne Murray? Slim Whitman? the Urban Dance Squad? It's easy to attack but it's difficult to love.
    "I bear more grudges, than lonely high court judges" -- Moz
    Mulder4truth -- Wednesday December 31 2003, @12:33PM (#83025)
    (User #9608 Info)
  • ......i plead with you moz-solo people: don't get your knickers in a knot over this! obviously not worth your energy or time.
    Anonymous -- Wednesday December 31 2003, @01:20PM (#83027)
  • whatta jackass.

    Joy Division sucked because Ian had siezures? good arguement.

    name dropping Pavement doesn't win any brownie points, but name dropping The Black Gestapo (for no reason what so ever) does? the Black Gestapo is pretty cool though-Mac from Night Court cuts off a guy's nutsack and flushes it down the toilet...still didn't get what that had to do with the Smiths.
    mr. superinvisible -- Wednesday December 31 2003, @02:09PM (#83030)
    (User #6367 Info)
  • ...I laughed for a whole 2 minutes. Great.
    Anonymous -- Wednesday December 31 2003, @07:31PM (#83045)
  • So, he says these bands suck. But if you look at the way he says it, you'll find that the arguments he uses are outright stupid. Actually, I find this whole article quite funny.

    And, if he really dislikes these bands, he has written a very poor article to prove his points.
    Anonymous -- Thursday January 01 2004, @07:34AM (#83057)
  • He knows a damn lot about these bands, if he claims to hate them. That's all I'm saying.
    Anonymous -- Thursday January 01 2004, @11:21AM (#83066)
  • I dont think his real name is Dr.David Thorpe, its actually Mr Juan Kerr!!!!!!!!!
    Anonymous -- Thursday January 01 2004, @12:05PM (#83068)
  • First, pardon for my poor english. I find very interesting and even exciting the fact that still exist some music conoisseurs that show a different opinion and try to put in that rightful place something they consider overrated. The article has some clever parts, but it is quite plain, unimaginative and full of mistakes. I say this as a journalist. Humour isn´t easy to express as some said before. But some funny jokes with no basis are a different thing. Pretty easy.
    Anyway:
    1. "semi-incompetent". Well, of course Joy Division were absolutely incompetent when they started. But after all they wrote things like "Atmosphere". And that´s what you can call a well-crafted tune.
    2. "No energy????": Joy Division had no energy? Energy can be measured easily, it is not an opinion. Just take a look at the "Something Else" performance in the BBC in 1978. Could you ever imagine any rhythm section so viscerally strong as the one formed by Peter Hook and Stephen Morris?.
    3. Only managed two albums before they squeezed..." Since when the quality of art is measured by the quantity?. Following that rule, Modern Talking, Bon Jovi or Status Quo are much more important in music history than The Velvet Underground, The Sex Pistols or The Stooges.
    4. Bauhaus... dreadful synth-pop". Erm... in which Bauhaus record is there a synth-line?
    5. "The Black Gestapo". No comments.
    6. What´s the problem with homosexuality and rockabilly?. It would be much more funny if Sting was homosexual and made some rockabilly records, rather than a premature senile guy who looks like the most desirable person for any girl´s mum.
    7 and final: And this what gets makes me really angry. What´s wrong with the latino Morrissey following? Well, I´m spanish, I don´t consider myself part of a latino culture or something like that and I like Morrissey and The Smiths. Ethnocentrism isn´t that funny at all.

    I don´t like Pavement, but the arguments used to criticize them are even weaker, ridiculous and exent of any kind of wit. The same for the MBV piece. And if you like "overrated sacred cows" criticism, I recommend a section in Uncut magazine that was called "Sacred Cows". I don´t know if it still exists. That was really witty, funny and well-written. Even when you liked the band. Evidently, the "Something Awful" piece is third-rate criticism. I´m sure that this David Thorpe can write better things. If not, he should give up and form an AOR band.
    luism -- Thursday January 01 2004, @04:23PM (#83072)
    (User #9646 Info)
  • I'm not sure how familiar you are with SomethingAwful.com, but in case you didn't know, it's a satire website. If you glance through Thorpe's other articles, you will soon see that all he's doing is poking fun at snobby record store/rock critic types. As others have pointed out, his arguments are laughably bad. In another piece, he claims that his favourite band is "Egyptian Head" - a group so obscure they don't even exist. Think before you post, people.
    Diasco -- Thursday January 01 2004, @05:47PM (#83075)
    (User #9532 Info)
    I will take you from this sickness, dinner parties and champagne. I'll hold your body and make it sing again.
  • It's truly ridiculous how you have to like certain bands to be a pop-fan. I can easily see why somebody would totally detest The Smiths, Joy Division etc., but saying so outloud is frowned upon. I could just as easily hate both bands as I do love them.

    Being into popmusic and sying you like the Smiths and Joy Division is like a trucker saying he drives a truck, eh? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
    MinorThreat -- Friday January 02 2004, @12:52AM (#83089)
    (User #5550 Info | http://www.ifsociety.com/)
  • Let's hunt down David Thorpe like a dog and kill his ass several times.

    He is too funny for his own good.

    Next time, do The Cure (probably his favourite group, the feeble monkey)
    Ramon -- Friday January 02 2004, @03:56AM (#83093)
    (User #2577 Info)
    "I'm all over you...like a vulture, like impending death"
  • Something has set this man off...whether he was at a Brazilian BBQ and was reminded of the title song he just played on his way to the restaurant on his personally signed Meat is Murder CD, my thoughts are along the lines that he may possibly be The Smiths biggest fan.

      I am willing to gout on a ledge and say that if this isn't the case..then he's been watching Kelly Osbourne videos or worse American Idol and confusing talent (where Clarkson and Aiken and Ruben have somehow STUNNED a Brit Cowell-not that Cowell knows talent either) into believing that somehow the preteen boppers (too many purely sad bands to name)are the best thing to hit the industry. While I have always known Moz to be the Anti-pop and for good reason...

    I find it humorous that it takes a doctorate and the information which he probably stole from a biography (a la Cemetry Gates, a song he knows by heart) to write his own sad editorial on a group that has probably influenced his life more than even the Descendants are willing to admit.

    As my wife would say in her most Beautiful BRAZILIAN VOICE..I'm so sorry!!!!
    guilty_as_charged <[email protected]> -- Friday January 02 2004, @08:27AM (#83102)
    (User #9640 Info)
    guilty_as_charged
  • I liked the article. I disagreed with a lot of what he said but I still thought it was pretty funny. It's pretty obvious he's just trying to rile people up: like someone else said, it's a satirical site. A funny article, in my opinion.
    Asleep84 -- Friday January 02 2004, @10:06AM (#83107)
    (User #9351 Info)
  • That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time (besides Jacko Wacko claiming "It's ok to share your bed with children").

    The only difference between Nickelback and The Smiths is that Smiths fans dress slightly better and don't beat their girlfriends as hard.

    If you get your panties all in a bunch over this, you seriously need to get your head checked.
    broccoli_spears -- Friday January 02 2004, @11:20PM (#83160)
    (User #3308 Info)
    We don't do crack. We don't do that. Crack is whack. - Whitney Houston
  • I liked it, but it could have been much funnier. That site usually is.

    If anyone is going to get too seriously mad about this, just remember, it's a joke site, and whoever wrote that article is probably a Morrissey fan to know so much.

    But whatever faults Ian Curtis' singing voice may have, you'll notice he didn't even try to touch the lyrics. Except to say they are too depressing. Because Ian Curtis writes perfect lyrics.

    "The poet-laureate of whiny crybaby rock"
    Haha!
    xLoveletterx -- Saturday January 03 2004, @12:38AM (#83163)
    (User #6676 Info)
  • Joy Division is absurdly over-rated. Their stuff is just not that good. My Bloody Valentine's appeal was also a mystery to me. Haven't heard much pavement.
        But anyone who tries to champion the merits of punk rock has zero credbibility in my eyes. Punk is the most inexcusable musical shit.
    LeBlanc -- Saturday January 03 2004, @08:59AM (#83172)
    (User #8971 Info | http://www.thedizzyheights.com/)
  • These "Your Favorite Band Sucks" things on S-A are simply to lure hate-mail and long articles written by fans in an attempt to nullify the wrongs. As a member of the S-A forums and a huge Moz fan I must say that it's only tongue-in-cheek, so don't take it too seriously. Cheers!
    Postman -- Sunday January 04 2004, @03:29AM (#83232)
    (User #9664 Info)
  • I agreed with it all, and I'm a big fan of The Smiths and Joy Division! Can't wait to read his take on Echo & The Bunnymen - the most over-rated band of all time?
    Georgethetwentythird -- Sunday January 04 2004, @01:22PM (#83267)
    (User #8698 Info)
    Judge not, lest ye be judged...
  • The day you stop being able to poke fun at yourself and the things that you love the most is the day that something in you is just dead....

    Some of you seems to be really big big followers of Morrissey (and so am I) in every words and actions... Didn't "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" showed you how it was healthy to poke fun at yourself? Or are you still of those who thinks it was litteral?

    Morrissey is one of the wittiest, funniest pop lyricist, and if he ever read that article, I'm pretty sure he'd laugh...

    Stop taking yourself to seriously, for god's sake!
    Tatsuma -- Sunday January 04 2004, @02:27PM (#83277)
    (User #9008 Info)
  • This is satire! Someone mentioned it already.

    The whole site is about satire, David Thorpe is not trying to make a valid point. He doesn't even exist (most likely).
    Anonymous -- Monday February 16 2004, @12:16PM (#86764)


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